Post # 1
So we are trying to put together our guest list – we have a pretty good idea of how many will be invited…. HOWEVER ~ some of the people on our list have “significant others” that I would like to NOT invite if possible… for various reasons…. is it rude of me to say “hey you are invited, but sorry your bf can’t come” ? Or do I suck it up and take the chance of ruining my day by letting them come ? I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here 🙁
Post # 3
I would say DHs and FIs should be invited. Boyfriends, not so much (maybe unless they live together and/or have been dating a significant amount of time).
Make sure to be consistent though, to avoid hurt feelings. Like, if you’re not allowing someone to bring their boyfriend, make sure you’re not allowing any boyfriends to come.
Post # 4
Ooh that is tough. I think it’s proper etiquette to invite the SO’s of your friends..unless you have a blanket rule of “no plus ones” or “no plus ones except family”. Or be prepared for your friends to reply no…which would maybe be a best case scenario anyway.
Otherwise I guess you could tell your friends you’re keeping it really small… But if it’s not a small wedding or if it would be obvious that other friends got to bring their SO’s then it could rub your friends the wrong way. Maybe consider keeping it more intimate and not inviting these friends if you think their company will ruin your day. I think a wedding is too important to have people there who make you uncomfortable, unless it’s family, everyone will probably get over it.
Post # 5
If they change boyfriends or girlfriends every other week, I think it’s okay to not invite the +1’s. But if they’ve been together for a few months or longer, I think they’re considered a social unit at that point. Remember back to when you had been dating your FI for a few months… you’d have preferred to have him invited along with you, as well.
Post # 6
I agree if they are married or have been together for years they should get the +1 ( even if you don’t particulary care for the partner). I have a few relatives that I have never met their new partner but they were invited anyway ( and we are having a small wedding)
Post # 7
Definitely invite husbands, fiance’s and cohabitors. I think it’s also nice to invite people who have been together for a year or longer.
Post # 8
I think you just need to have a blanket rule. “No ring, no +1” or something along those lines.
Post # 9
Most people, I think, invite spouses, fiances, cohabitants, and people together for more than a year. You might want to set the rule more narrowly (only spouses, fiances, cohabitants), or more broadly (anyone together 6 months or more), etc. Whatever you do, choose a rule and then stick to it. You will be bombarded with pleas for exceptions.