Post # 1
OK, so I need some help here. Im getting Married in May, and we are in the process of finalizing our guest list so we can get the invitations out. The challenge I have is with 2 people on My list.
1) My oldest brother. I love him, he’s my brother, and he was almost always my favorite (I have 3)
2) My surogate oldest brother. – was the best friend of my brother for as long as I know, I call his parents Auntie & Uncle. Since he doesn’t have a sister, I’ve been “the sister he never had” my entire life.
The two of them have had a falling out a couple of years ago, and will not talk to each other or even acknowledge that the other one exists. My brother even told me that if #2 is invited, he won’t come.
I want them both there, but I don’t know if I can pull it off. They are my family, and I love them dearly, but I honestly think if they are both there, there will be a scene.
What do I do
Post # 3
@jjackson1982: 1 you can tell them both the other isnt going and then the day of the wedding before they see each other find them and tell them you want them to be here for you and groom not to see the other guy….
2. tell both of them to man up they are not sitting at the same table they are invited to this wedding because of the bond the two of you share NOT seing the other guy…tell them to grow up you NEED them to be at your wedding
Post # 4
@jjackson1982: Adults sometime act like children, and it is not acceptable for him to put you in that position.
I’d talk to him with all my love and care (but firmly) about I love both and I will invite both. That it makes me really sad he is making that choice, but it is his call at the end of the day, that I hope he will reconsider.
Hopefully he will get his act together before the wedding.
You could also ask your parents for help.
Post # 5
I think you have 2 choices:
- Tell your brother to quit being selfish and be civil to your friend on your wedding day. They don’t have to talk or interact, but as adults they should be able to be in the same room without starting a scene.
- If your brother truly can’t be adult enough to not cause a scene then I think you have to not invite the friend. You can’t not invite your brother. It sucks, but sometimes that’s how things have to happen.
I really hope your brother can just get over it for a day. My dad and brother had a huge falling out and haven’t spoken to each other for 2 years. My brother hasn’t come to holidays or anything. But I asked them to both come to the wedding and be civil with each other and they totally did. Out of respect for me and my wedding. Your brother should be able to do the same.
Post # 6
This is their problem not yours. Tell them both why you want them there and that the other will be there, and if they start to get upset remind them that they are and can act like adults and that you shouldn’t be punished because they want to act like children.