(Closed) Guest List Advice LONG POST

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I didn’t have exactly the same issues but we only had 13% decline.  Our wedding isn’t destination though, and I know that makes a huge difference.  20-30% of our guest list was OOT and then the rest are about 45 minutes to 2 hours away.  But I really would only invite the closer family (maybe skip the 2nd and 3rd cousins).  We had to cut our guest list down from 150 to 100 and those cuts were mostly extended family, children, and less close friends.  My family understood but we’re also paying for this ourselves so people didn’t expect to get as much say in the guest list as if they were paying for it.

Post # 4
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I totally understand where you  are coming from. I have a big family as well and if I invite one cousin, I have to invite the rest. Have you made an A list and B list of guests. Pick 150 A list people and then the rest is B list.  Send your invites early..get a response and then if you still have less than 150, you can send invitation to the B- List people.  Also I heard calling people one by one to verify their reply will avoid people are no shows.

Make sure you didn’t give any people any +1….avoid it but you can only use it for people that don’t know other people.

My fiance invited engaged relatives and those with a live in bf/gf. If you weren’t engaged then your gf/bf is not invited.

I eliminated people that I don’t get along with that are out of state ( I have a bitchy cousin).

Think of each guest when you invite them as you are giving them $100 each.  Who would you give it to???

Post # 6
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Glad it’s helped you.  My fiance and I did have a dilemma with kids though. He didn’t want to invite. However we only included kids that were in the bridal party and were siblings of those kids.  I made a clear that we would allow out of town guest to bring their kids unless that couple wanted a kid free nite/vacation.  I want to meet their kids too plus why would my friends leave their kids in NYC and St. Louis. So I won…LOL.  This year, my brother’s wife, my future SIL, my cousin, and one of my bridesmaids is having their baby….so I guess we are allowing them to have their baby there unless they want a babyfree nite.  Yeah, my wedding is not till November.  I won’t send STD to everyone but the absolute A listers (gonna email people a STD to save money, and mail STD to those that only use old school mail).  Yeah, I’ll have to send the A list wedding invites earlier and then call people…then send the B listers…It’s going to be interesting. Good luck!!

Post # 7
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

btw, maybe you should send in 3-4 Months earliers??? Just an idea.

Post # 8
Member
3720 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We are doing an A list and B list. We can afford 180, so we figure at least 20 people will decline and are inviting 200. There are 6 international, 20 live over 2000 miles away, some won’t bring plus 1s, and some won’t bring kids, so I am hoping a lot more than 20 will decline. Once we get 20 nos, then FI is allowed to start sending out his B list (our guest list is 30% me, 70% him, so all B list is his).

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