Post # 1
OK, we are hashing out the guest list. We are currently at 145. Which, to be honest, I was impressed with, FI’s family is HUGE. As I began to look at venues that are our style I figure that: a) our budget will have to grow, b) our guest list will have to shrink, or c) our vision of our wedding day will have to change in a MAJOR way.
We both want a modern, city wedding at a venue with a view (if possible). If we keep our guest list as is, I don’t believe we’ll be able to afford dinner for our guests. I do not want to do heavy apps because practically all of our guests are coming from Out of Town. Fiance is opposed to a day (lunch/brunch) wedding because he wants a serious dance party (I do too.) We are open to Friday night to save some $ but in our area I am still not sure our budget will get us dinner at the per person rate we are able to spend.
It seems like the only feasible option is to cut the guest list. I’m a little stressed by this because I would essentially have to cut ALL of my third cousins. Now for a little background, we are a large Latino family and we are TIGHT. I didn’t know what a “third cousin” was. This last year was particularly difficult as 4 family members passed away so I saw these cousins more last year because of what was happening than in years past. I think if they are not invited there will definitely be hurt feelings. Especially now. So although I wouldn’t be absolutley miserable if they didn’t attend, I don’t know if it’s worth the hurt feelings forever to keep the wedding vision as it is. We are just not the outdoor, DIY, suburban mansion type of wedding couple.
Post # 3
Can you maybe pick a different date that is off season in your area? That could potentially save you a lot of money; not just on your venue, but also for a lot of the other vendors too.
Post # 4
We are definitely open to an off-season wedding! Thanks for the suggestion.
Post # 5
I know you want a city wedding, but can you go a little bit out of the city? You can still get the modern feel, but at suburb prices.
I think if you want your cousins there, its worth changing some of your requirements to get them there.
Post # 6
How many people are you needing to cut to meet budget? Don’t forget that some people won’t come. I was actually surprised as to how many people did not come to our wedding.
Post # 7
Agree with PPs, off-season (even just a month or two earlier) might help. Also, what about doing it in Arlington or something across the river, where you could still get a view of DC but not be right in the city? Good luck – I hope you find something amazing.
Post # 8
I know what you mean about the guest list- we had the same debate, but eventually decided that it was more important to us to include all of our favorite people than it was to have the “perfect wedding.” The decorations and setting don’t mean as much as the people we share it with- but that’s us and I am in no way trying to get you to feel the same way!
I agree that an off season wedding could help a lot, but moving just out of the city could be equally beneficial in terms of prices. City traffic and parking can get a little hectic, anyway. Just things to think about!
Post # 9
I have been to daytime weddings and there was for sure dancing (for inspiration, watch “Four Weddings and a Funeral” (the first wedding) and “Steel Magnolias”). It depends more on the crowd than it does on the time of day. But I guess if you want a whole nighttime raver sort of thing, that’s different.
And then do consider the type of food you want to offer–does it have to “match” the modern decor? I mean, could you do BBQ, for example? Sometimes ethnic food is less expensive (Chinese, Mexican, Indian…). You could also try calling a few caterers, being up front with your budget, and seeing what they can offer you. Sometimes they’ll work with you.
Post # 10
Thanks, bees, we definitely have some things to discuss and a few tough decisions to make.