Guest List Dilemma

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Honey, I am with you.  It’s YOUR day.  I am not inviting a second cousin who I know will have nothing nice to say because I will want to do her bodily harm when she has one too many cocktails and starts her insults about everythig from my weight to the flowers.   You need to have a one on one with your SO and tell him how this makes you feel.  How would he feel if you invited your ex and his mother? It’s your day, not a day for some ex to shoot you daggers and talk $hit behind your back.

Post # 3
2172 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Just to clarify- this is the ex’s MOM, not the ex herself?

What is the drama?

Post # 4
1214 posts
Bumble bee

I think its innapropriate for the ex’s Mom to attend.  She should think how she would feel if it was her daughter’s wedding.  No invite period.  FMIL will get over it, eventually.

Post # 5
7019 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

captjack10:  Sorry, but I agree with the family. I think it’s ok for FMIL to invite one or two of her closest friends friends. Just sit her with FMIL and ignore her.

If the in-laws are paying, or part paying, then they definitely get to invite her.

Post # 7
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

You and your FI should (again?) have a private conversation and get on the same page.  Personally, I don’t think this woman should be invited to your wedding in Mexico, your at home reception is enough.  Take it from me- my husband’s mom was trying to tell me I’d gained tons of weight (not true at all) the day before our wedding.  You definitely don’t want your FI’s ex’s outspoken mom there, judging everything because it “should have been her daughter.” 

Once you and your FI agree, he should tell his family the decision and politely shut down future discussions about it.  You shouldn’t have to be caught in the middle of his family discussing this.

Post # 8
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

How rude if your future in laws. Period. They care more about whom?  Your fi needs to stand by you and put his ex and anything to do with ex in the past once and for alL. She is an ex for a reason, the Mom included. if his mom is friends with her, she can do it but not around all but at this point I would question what kind of friend puts down a friends children. Your if needs to stand up for you Now. This should not be tolerated. Not around his new family. It should have been stopped long ago. If he dioesnt have a kid with this ex and even then , there is boundary lines for a resin. Especially goes for rude exes. Ugh. Trust me. Or his family is going to tear your relationship apart or just push you guys away from the family. Trust me. 

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