Guest List Dilemma – Extend Invite to Insufferable Cousin?

posted 3 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do I invite my cousin that I strongly dislike?
    Yes : (19 votes)
    48 %
    No : (21 votes)
    53 %
  • Post # 3
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    @SeptemberSparkle:  You don’t HAVE to invite anyone, it’s your wedding and if you’re not comfortable having her there that’s understandable!

    My only concern for you would be potential for hurt feelings / strong opinions from others and you having to defend why you didn’t invite her. This certainly isn’t a reason to invite her simply because it’s easier to avoid the tension though – it’s just one thing you may have to deal with.

    I guess the question is, would you rather deal with people being judgemental about you not inviting her, or deal with her being a pain on your special day?

    Just make sure it’s yours and your FI’s decision and no one elses 🙂

    Post # 5
    582 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    I’d just invite her, becasue it wouldn’t be worth the hassle to me of the reprocussions that could come from not inviting her .  If she acts a fool, she’s reflecting poorly on herself. 


    Post # 6
    6700 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I think it’s probably safe to say most of us have situations like this.  Unless it’s a really extreme thing,  in the name of family harmony, I generally think it’s best to include all siblings, cousins etc. or none.  

    Post # 7
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think most people have a similar situation when deciding who to invite. Our rule is we don’t want anyone who will bring negative energy (couple family members who will never be satisfied or who have an “it’s all about me” personality) or anyone we’d need to introduce ourselves to (cousins cousins uncle’s sister in-law type deal). No thanks.

    Post # 8
    4513 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Stealing linens?! LOL

    No, I would not invite her. This is your wedding, not a family reunion. We did not invite anyone to our wedding that we didn’t truly want to be there. People will get over it. They may give you a side eye and make a quick judgment, but I doubt it’ll cause some huge unforgettable feud or anything. Its silly and kind of sad to invite someone to your wedding just to avoid the hassle of possibly having to explain it later. Honestly I’m sure your family is aware of her past behavior so while they may not agree with your decision, they’ll probably understand why you made it.


    Post # 11
    11634 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it would be incredibly rude to invite two siblings and not the third. 

    Post # 12
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @SeptemberSparkle:  its your wedding you do what you want! Me i wouldnt! HELL no! i dont want anyone there to spoil my day, im inviting 2 of my cousins, one i dont talk to much but shes ok, nice person (shes 25 years older then me) and then my 3rd cousin…no…last i seen them was at my grand mothers furnal…i dont talk to them why should we fork out extra for someone i dont talk to….? i wouldnt invite your obnoxious cousin…if she asks, i cant have that many people sorry…i just hope her sisters dont tell her “hey caint wait for Septemebers wedding, what are you wearing” when she didnt get an invite…. or just tell them 2 shes not invited and be forward about it

    Post # 13
    1028 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    @AndysCraftsNmore:  +1 to everything stated. You and your FI’s day, your money, your comfort and peace of mind. Also you dont have to explain a damn thing to anyone if they inquire as to why she wasnt invited and if someone is so bold enough to ask simply says “Its so great to see you!” and move on to the next!

    Post # 15
    502 posts
    Busy bee

    If you’re willing to have some ties severed (the extreme end of what could happen), then by all means don’t invite her. But in a situation like this, regardless of of mantra of “it’s your wedding, do what makes you happy!”, the fact is not inviting a single person out of a large group of siblings and family, sends a very clear message that you do not like her and do not want her part of your life. After all, a wedding is pretty much the biggest event any of us throw, and if she isn’t invited to that, why would you want to see her at any other place?

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