Guest List Drama

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 5
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

We are paying for our own wedding so we have complete say in the guest list.  NO cousins, but we are having nieces and nephews + a few special friends children.  Unfortunately where there is other peoples $$$ involved there sometimes isn’t much of a leg to stand on!  All the best.

Post # 6
Member
7397 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@Shonzilla:  I’m sorry but I cannot for life me understand your post. What exactly is the problem? Is it that your FI thinks that your parents should not be allowed to invite anyone even thought they are contributing a third of the budget?

 

Post # 7
Member
11717 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@j_jaye:  I agree.

OP, I read your post three times and I’m really confused about what the problem is and what you’re asking.

Post # 9
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@Shonzilla:  Why doesn’t he think your parents should have an equal number of invitations with his parents?

If you’re under capacity and it fits in the budget, invite who you want.  It seems to me its fair to give both sets of parents an equal number of invitations.

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It would make sense to me that the parents should each get X amount of invites.

If your guest list is 100 people, how about you and DH get 50, and each set of parents gets 25? Or if you’re inviting 50 people, you and DH get 25 invites, and your family each gets 12? To use on whoever they want.

Post # 11
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

Me personally, if my parents were helping pay and I was under my numbers for guests, I’d just go ahead and invite the cousins/neices/nephews to ease the tension.  A situation like this isn’t really worth the fight.

I’m with PPs on what exactly your FI is having an issue with.  Why can’t your parents have an equal number of guests as his parents? 

My parents are helping to pay, and they’re inviting some people I haven’t seen since I was a baby.  It’s safe to say that I don’t “know” them.  But I don’t care.  This wedding is just as much for them as it is for my FI and I. 

Post # 12
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Shonzilla:  In terms of the kids I think your friends would understand for the most part. Those are your family and are considered a higher level than your friends kids. If anyone were to say anything to you all you need to say is that they are family and that is that. I personally don’t want any kids at my wedding and the few friends who are coming know this and are keeping their kids at home, but all family is welcome regardless of their age.

I would set a limit for both parents so it is their choice if they want to max out their limit or invite less people – remember, not everyone is going to be able to make it! Once everyone decides who they want to invite it may help to write it all out on paper in categories to get a visual feel for who is coming!

Post # 13
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My parents and FI’s parents are each inviting about 30-50 friends and my parents are paying. We are only inviting the children of family members but not of friends so I think it’s fine. 

Post # 15
Member
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Family members who are children are a totally different story from chidren of family friends. 

We invited our aunts and uncles who will bring our cousins who happen to be children. We also invited family friends on both my side and fiances side, but in our area its just commonly known, if you aren’t a family member you don’t bring your kids to a wedding. So to answer your question no, it is not unfair for family friends to not bring kids while your family brings their kids, in fact I think in most places thats pretty customary that only family has the unsaid right to bring kids. 

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors