(Closed) Guest List Drama

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

nope.  They are a unit and she should be invited. 

Post # 4
Member
7796 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

The trouble with not inviting her is that FI’s best friend could get offended and not attend. I would only not invite her if she is so volatile that she would actually disrupt the wedding. But if she’s just unpleasant, invite her. If she’s negative on your wedding day it only looks bad for her.

Ignore facebook unfriending. Some people are just private.

Post # 5
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Sorry OP, but you need to invite her.  Think of your FI’s friend.  How do you think it’s going to make him feel if you don’t invite her?  How would you like it if your FI wasn’t invited with you because the bride didn’t like him.  Wouldn’t you be very hurt?

Post # 6
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

None. She should be there.

Post # 7
Member
11353 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Unfortunately, from an etiquette perspective, there isn’t a loophole.  If a couple is married, engaged, or living together, etiquette requires you to consider the couple to be a social unit and extend the invitation to both members. 

Post # 10
Member
3608 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I know some people have a rule that means you don’t invite people who aren’t married or engaged.  But you have to do that for everyone, no exceptions.  However, since her BF is in the bridal party it would be considered extremely bad etiquette not to give him a plus one.

Personally, I think she gets an invite.

Post # 11
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I know I say this constantly but etiquette be damned, I wouldn’t have anyone negative or anyone who makes me miserable to be around on the guest list.

Post # 12
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

It’s hard to be the bigger person sometimes. Invite them both and don’t give her another thought. Fingers crossed he dumps her before the wedding and you won’t even have to worry about it.

Post # 13
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Maybe she won’t come!?! One can always hope!

But really, if you hate someone, I really don’t think you should have to invite them to your wedding.  Ettiquette or not, I just think it’s so weird to HAVE to invite someone you don’t want to.  But this is coming from a gal with a guest list that goes on for days b/c I’m unable to stand my ground too. 😉

Post # 14
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@katkelly24:  She might not show up if she is that misrable!

Think of it this way: you will be at your most beautiful and she will have to witness your bliss at marrying your FI. At the reception,  you don’t have to talk to her. If you see her coming, smile and say “I’ll be right back” and leave.

Post # 15
Member
8319 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@katkelly24:  I always find it amusing when some says someone is a mean nasty bitter person when at the same time they are being mean and nasty about that person!

Ultimately this is about your FI and his friends relationship. When you are friends with someone you don’t have to like their partner but you do have to respect their choice to be with them (unless they are abusive but this girl doesn’t sound that way). This woman obviously makes your FI’s friend happy and if you exclude her from the wedding then you will cause a rift between your FI and his close friend.

The only persona behaviour and comments you should be concerned with are your own. Just because someone does something rude/mean/nasty doesn’t greenlight it for you to do it in return- otherwise you are just as bad as them!

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