- 7 years ago
- Wedding: March 2011
Hi Hive- Sorry this is long….
Since getting engaged in June, we have been having major issues with my Future Mother-In-Law and our guest list. My parents are paying 100% for our wedding (she did not offer to contribute at all), and we decided, with my parents, that we would invite 180 people total: 60 people for me and Fiance, 60 for my parents, and 60 for my Future In-Laws. My Future Mother-In-Law has had issues with this since the beginning, as she has a large extended family (who I have never met) that she felt she had to invite. She felt so strongly about this, that she never once had a positive thing to say about our wedding, instead focusing every conversation about the “huge disappointment” and “hurt feelings” she is experiencing in not being able to invite everyone. I repeatedly explained that people understand that this isn’t her party and that she’s limited in invites, but it’s never been enough… even when she says she gets it, she starts the conversation again the next day. We thought we solved the problem by having her throw an engagement party where her extended family was all invited, but that wasn’t enough.
After many fights to get her to give us her finalized list, we got it and set about sending out invites. At the very beginning of the invite process, we floated the idea of a B list. But once invites were printed and out, we realized that the RSVP date was too close to actually invote a whole new round of people (without it being obvious to them that they were B list with an RSVP date of 3 days later!) I let her know this, and then again, on the day she received her invite.
Last night, at her house for dinner, she informed me that as a few of her guests couldn’t come, she had verbally invited a new couple in their place. I firmly and patiently explained yet again that we weren’t doing a B list, but she was like, “well I already told them!” Also, these people were at their house when a pipe burst, and were helpful, so she feels she has to invite them…But I explained that this isn’t her party to invite extra people to, especially since the hosts and the guests of honor aren’t doing a B list.
We didn’t net out with a solution…but I am furious. Furious that she is going to get her way after being explained to about 4,000 times the way it’s being done. I just am sad, I guess, that she has so little respect for me. What does everyone think How should I proceed?