Post # 1
Bees, I need some advice.
My fiance and I both have big families but we want a smaller wedding and chose a venue accordingly. I’ve made the decision to cut down the guest list. The problem is, many of the people who are getting cut are assuming they are invited. So now I don’t know how to politely let them know they are not. Should I just send my invitations and let them figure it out? Talk to them individually to tell them? Spread the word through the family via my mother and sister? All of these seem sort of rude.
Any thoughts? I would really appreciate some help!
Post # 3
@aazadm: I had to do this for our destination wedding – we had a very limited guest list. Sadly, I kind of felt like there was no easy way of saying ‘sorry, can’t come.’ We went with a combo of spreading it through the family via my MIL, my mom and my sister and us bringing it up in conversation that we would be having a very small, intimate ceremony due to budgetary reasons. When we spoke to people who wouldn’t be receiving an invite we told them that it would be limited to immediate family and 1 or 2 close friends.
We downplayed the whole event to those who wouldn’t be attending by saying it would be a quick ceremony and just dinner…and then we never mentioned the wedding or any planning talk to them again.
Good luck. It’s tough telling people that they aren’t invited, especially to a wedding where everyone expects a big party. But, you need to stick to your guns and remember that it’s your day and if you want a small, intimate ceremony then it’s totally your perogative. 🙂
Post # 4
I guess it depends on how you cut down the list. If you’re cutting out some family members and not others, I’d say you should probably tell them yourselves and explain your reasoning. If it’s friends, you can use the “small wedding” justification without too much trouble.