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What am I doing wrong?

Guest list fear

posted 3 months ago in Logistics
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    1.
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    Wannabee
    NJbeachbride    September 2, 2012  

    We have booked a wedding venue that holds a max of 150 people and the guest list has since grown to 175. I'm afraid we will have too many show up and I could use some advice before sending out invites.

    The breakdown

    My family/family friends: 46

    His family/family friends: 50

    My friends: 20

    His friends 59

    Of those...about 55 are out of state, 9 more are international (We'd be surprised if the international people came)

    How many do you think I can count on attending? How flexible are venues about overbooking? I know my fiancees list is the biggest, but he has this really awesome (and huge) group of close friends from childhood who are very important to both of us. He says he's cutting into bone with the list as it is.

    There are several family members on his mom's list who he hasn't seen in years. I've never met them and didn't recognize the names. It's tough to talk about cutting a friend, when they remain on the list. Initial attempts to remove them have met with intense resistance from his mom.

    Any suggestions you could give would be much appreciated!

     

     
    2.
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    Helper bee
    Otaqueen    June 15, 2013   Queens, NY

    It really depends on the venue. Is 150 the max capacity? SOme venues tend to over exagerate how many people they can fit.

    I know my venue allows more people but the price goes up if it's over 100 or 150.

     

    Are you and your FI paying for the wedding? If you are I think you should talk to his mother and say how your venue only allows for this many people, you can only afford this many people, and if it's people he barely knows, you see no point in inviting them. You could say that if some people RSVP no, then you will send out invites to those people.

     

    From what people have told me about 75-80% of the guest list end up attending, but you can never count on that.

    If you really want only 150 but invite 175, watch that all 175 RSVP. It's murphys law.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    brenda.m.fields    March 3, 2012   Fort Lauderdale (wedding) & Gainesville (home)

    @NJbeachbride:  So this is kind of tacky, but you can do it discretely. Send out the invitations to the top 150 people at 10 weeks out, and then send out the other 25 at eight weeks out if you're getting a good percentage of declines.  With an RSVP date 3-4 weeks before the wedding, no one will know you've B-listed as long as you keep people from the same social groups in the same batch of invitations. 

    It might work really well too to put the international ones in the second group because you can always expect those to take longer anyway, so if their friends in America post on your fb wall how excited they were to get your invite or something, the international guests won't think anything's up... yet.

    I invited 113 (13 over max capacity) and we're going to have 81-83 there.

     
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    NJbeachbride    September 2, 2012  

    Thanks for your help ladies. My fiancee ended up bringing it up with his parents again. They  had a fight about it, everybody calmed down and we are now two guests fewer on the list from them. My fiancee cut a few more people and we did some math.

    I multiplied the # of guests in each party times the % likelihood that they would come and added it all together. We're inviting 165 total.

    We're thinking it will be ok. If we have enough no replies, we'll add the people we had to cut back into the mix. A late invite is better than no invite in my opinion.

     

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