(Closed) Guest list for bridal tea party

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t invite anyone to a bridal tea that you’re not inviting to the wedding. I think anyone invited to something like that would assume (understandably) that they are invited to the wedding too- I would. How would you tell them they are not invited? I think that’d be awkward- no?

Post # 5
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nope! Don’t invite them. You should always only invite people to wedding-related celebrations that will be invited to the wedding! I wouldn’t both even explaining it to them, like you said, you aren’t particularly close. I would rather not being told than having that awkward conversation…

Post # 6
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, don’t do it. 

I suppose it’s *possible* that there are people out there who would understand, but the vast, vast majority will be expecting an invitation and will be miffed when it doesn’t arrive, especially because they may have spent money on a gift, and certainly spent their time honoring you. And you will never truly know who understands and who is pretending to understand while they are really offended. 

And as far as asking, what do you intend to ask? “Hey, would you be okay with coming to the shower but not to the wedding?” It doesn’t matter how delicately you put it–that’s the question, right? Well THEN you’ve put them in an awkward position because what are they supposed to say? Either THEY come off as petty or mean or they’re forced into an agreement htey don’t want to make. 

The essence of etiquette is to avoid putting people in awkward social positions. Don’t do it!

Post # 7
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Nope. Unfortunately, you can only invite wedding guests to any wedding related activities. It’s bad form to do otherwise. Engagement parties, showers, bachelorette parties, etc…are all pre-celebrations to your big day, and etiquette dictates you should only invite future wedding guests to these festivities. It’s kind of like…they get you gifts at these parties, and then you share your special day with them and wine and dine them on your wedding day. 

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