Post # 1
So how did you do this great feat? Did you decide on an ideal number and tell each side that they had X amount of space? Did you just ask for family first and then give them a number of extras? Did you just ask for a list from them regardless of number and then ask them to cut if needed?
Do you ask for just names first or include addresses too? Did you use google docs so they could help you that way, or just a spreadsheet you created yourself? Did you have them send you it in an email, or just a word document so you could organize it yourself?
I know, I know, lots of questions! We just are looking for a number of people right now. I have a ballpark in my head but who knows until you start getting lists! I’m thinking of asking them for family only so far to see what we have, and then once we get that settled we will give them a number of extra spaces to fill.
PS our parents aren’t so tech savvy so I get worried they wouldnt be able to use google docs or anything.
I need some good ideas, bees! Thank you!
We are getting some monetary help from each side, but we are also paying a chunk of it ourselves 🙂
Post # 3
Well we paid for the wedding so it may be different if your parents are paying.
We each made our own guest list with family and friends. We asked our parents to email the names of any friends they would like, and each parent only invited 2 very very close friends. The rest of the guest list was family and our friends.
start with the guest list first and then figure out your budget. You may have to cut some people from your list to stay within budget. once you have the final list then pull the addresses together.
Post # 4
We just asked our parents to send their “dream” list, and they ended up being really reasonable. My parents only wanted to invite 1 couple of their friends and DH’s wanted 2, and then their family member invites overlapped people we were inviting anyway so it was really easy.
We had our parents just email us the addresses of the people we didn’t know, but we send Christmas cards every year so I already had a spreadsheet set up for that with most of them.
Post # 5
We compiled a list of all possible people we might want to invite should budget and space not have any constraints. We made it very, very clear that there would definitely be cuts to this list so nobody would be shocked later on that great aunt Sally’s step nephew’s friend wasn’t on the final list.
I did an excel spreadsheet and bolded people who MUST be invited- parents, grandparents, siblings, close friends, etc.
I put in italics those who could be cut if we ran out of budget or space.
As for friends of parents, I said they could be on the ideal list, and if we had enough space and money left over, we could see about adding them in.
Post # 6
Part of me thinks it’s easier to just tell them how many places are reserved for their guests…but maybe it won’t matter? Maybe i’ll just ask for their ideal list with the intention that it will probably get cut down.
Is it ok to tell them all of this in an email?
The good thing is our families are relatively the same size.
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
“Did you decide on an ideal number and tell each side that they had X amount of space?”– YES.
We also had financial gifts from both sides, and were shooting for 100 guests. So each family had 25 guests, DH & I had 25 each. DH& I overinvited, and we ended up with about 110 total.
If we hadn’t put limits, the number would have been WAY higher (the first list MIL sent me, left over from SIL’s wedding, had over 50 guests on it.) I made things easier for everyone (DH included) by coming up with an initial draft- “Do you want to invite so-and-so? Is someone else important missing from this list?” And, we had B-lists as well. “If cousin Suzy doesn’t come, then we can invite your neighbor.”
One “rule” we stuck by- no one was invited that neither DH nor I would recognize.