Post # 1
Does anyone out there worry about people getting mad at them?
I know most people I am leaving off of the guest list will not have hard feelings, they will not take it overly personal…I am having a smaller wedding of 100 people.
but I have one family member who is SUPER sensitive (my cousin), and sure enough, it’s her parents and brother who I dont want to invite to my wedding…
I am stressed out because I assume she will take on her natural sensitive defenses and be upset that they arent invited and she is. When I don’t want to blatently say “Oh, right, it’s because your dad is mean to my mom, and your brother is a herion addict”.I suppose I could just say I needed to keep my numbers down and would love for her to be there. and keep my statements short and sweet to avoid a long conversation…
I know I am making assumptions that she would be upset in the first place, AND then I’m making an assumption she’ll want an explanation… but I can’t help but be stressed out, since these people in general stress me out 0_o .
Meh. As of now, everyone’s save the date is addressed LOL except hers or my grandma. But eventaully I have to send them and the family will know Grandma and cousin got one, and her parents and brother didnt.
now that I think about it… lol maybe they wont be that surprized after all… maybe they know how crazy they are. hmm.
Post # 3
If you don’t want them there and have made the decision to not invite them – which is 100% your choice – don’t let anyone influence you to change your mind.
If she asks, tell her that you’re not comfortable inviting them. If she chooses to not come because if it, that is unfortunate, but you have a right to invite, or not invite, whom ever you choose.
Post # 4
My FI and I are also having small wedding (about 100). Mostly for two reasons 1). We want a small ceremony and 2). If we have between 100-200 guests we need to pay $200 more for the venue! We originally had about 120 people on our guest list. Since we didn’t want to pay $200 more for those 20 people, we cut our guest list down to 100 people.
I do feel bad because there are a few family members that might be offended, but I see them every 3 years or so. I’m not close to them really. If people ask, I will just explain that our venue is a smaller space and we want a small intimate ceremony. My mother wants me to invite all these distant relatives that I haven’t seen since I was 10 years old! Ridiculous.
Invite who YOU want to invite, it’s YOUR wedding!
Post # 5
To be honest, the guest list was one of the biggest things I stressed about. We had a fairly large wedding, but I have a really large family, so most of the guest list went to them. I couldn’t even invite all of my cousins (the ones I really don’t ever see) because of limitations (and I got crap for that so ended up inviting them and none of them came…).
I still feel a little bad for not inviting a few people, but one of them is DH’s ex from HS. She still hangs with the same group of friends but we had both agreed on not inviting exes to our wedding. Neither of us wanted to see any former flames, good or bad, as we were walking down the aisle or waiting at the altar. I feel bad when we are all hanging out and weddings come up but I just ignore it. It was not solely my decision.
There are others I wish I could have invited but there was only so much space. I think for the most part people understand this, especially if they have had a wedding of their own. If not, then people just need to understand that this is YOUR wedding, not theirs, and you can make whatever decision you want!
Post # 6
@Cote1590: this guest list has been the biggest stress… Leave it to family. -_-
Post # 7
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I think for most couples, the guest list IS the biggest stresser. You can’t please eveyone, and family is almost always the biggest cause of stress- “you HAVE to invite so and so, even though we haven’t seen them in 10 years,” etc.
I only invited one cousin out of twelve. She made a comment at the wedding- “Oh, other cousin would have loved this,” but too bad- I haven’t seen other cousin in 7+ years.
If your cousin’s mad, it is what it is. NO WAY would I have invited someone to our wedding that was mean to my Mom. It was a really special day for her as well, and I wouldn’t have wanted anyone there who would have put a damper on that.