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I'd let him make the decision. They're his family and he might have some information you don't know.
My FI didn't want to invite her family either, and we did anyways... well, some of them are very homophobic and we've gotten back some pretty rude reply cards, which has led to her feeling ostracized and like she has no family.
I wouldn't push it, if he doesn't want to invite his family.
I woudl suggest reading some of Mrs. Socks recaps and honesty about her groom's family.
If he doesn't want them there, and they're as bad as you sound, I wouldn't risk it. You could end up with a wedding like Mrs. Socks'. : / Her DH's family didn't like her, and they sabatoged her reception. I can only imagine how much worse it would be if YOUR FH's family showed up -- they are completely out of control. (They'd probably RSVP "no" and then show up & trash the place.)
I'd let FI decide who he wants to attend. Remember you have to feed these people. Do you really want them to attend and risk wrecking your special day. Remember you cant do this day twice.
Don't push the situation. It is his day as much as it is yours; if he doesn't want them there, they shouldn't be invited. Hope everything works out!
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Let me just start off by saying FI family absolutely hates the fact that we are together, let alone getting married! His father think's im a "Hussey" and his mother has constantly called me the "devil" among other racist terms I will not get into. Which has lead to them telling the rest of the family (who had no problems with me to begin with) ton's of crazy stories about how i roam around at night prostituting myself, sleeping around with other men, spending FI money on drugs and just other crazy crap! I wish I was trolling you guys...but this is ALL true.
Well I was putting together our guest list last night and I put down my family who will be attending, my friends and a few family friends. Which came out to about 56 out of 75 total people. I asked FI this morning who he wanted to put down and he just shook his head. I asked him what that meant and he said he isnt putting anyone down, that he doesn't want to invite anyone from his family (all of our friends are mutual between us). Im kinda happy that they wont be there but at the same time I still feel like we should at least send them invites, to kinda show we care? I know his parents will probably rip them up and throw them out, but the rest of his other family might not. I dont know what to do! Should we just go ahead and not invite them? and add more friends to the list? Or should we go ahead and send them invites regardless of the outcome?