guest list help!!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think having a tiered list is very rude, and if your guests found out, that they’d be upset.  Some people say they’re happy to be invited regardless of where they fall, but I think if I found out that you rated me as a B, or even C, list guest, I’d feel as if you invited me for a gift and that I wasn’t that important to you.

If you are set on doing a tiered list, you have to ensure that your B list (or C list) guests don’t know that they weren’t on your priority list.  Some people send their A list invitations way in advance to replace “no” responses with B list guests.  Some people use separate reponse cards to send out later.

Regardless, if people find out you did this, be prepared for some seriously hurt feelings.

Post # 5
Member
6270 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i don’t like ABC lists.

figure out your budget and how many people you can afford and then invite those people.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

depending on who is paying for your wedding I’d just cut out the “20 – all my mothers guest the ones i DONT know.”  If you don’t know them don’t invite them.  Unless your mom in paying for it and wants them there.


Post # 7
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@AndysCraftsNmore:  If you can do 120 I would send 120 (or 123 some people will decline and that includes your whole a and b list then) and then set an rsvp deadline of like 8 weeks out so you can get b list (those last 16) out and back in time. Just an FYI my cousin did this and our entire family knew about it and all of the older relatives (well except my dad he just dont give a fuck) were peeved beyond belief “how could she invite her mothers friend over her aunt” so just keep in mind sometimes groups youd never think would overlap do and if your a list guests dont know not to share they may spill the beans to b listers. Also tell your vendors 120 if thats what you are comfortable at. 

Post # 8
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Atalanta:  Or this. Trim your mothers guest list down so your total invites are close enough to 120 that you feel comfortable inviting everyone at once. Trust me people always know when youve b-listed them. 

Post # 10
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AndysCraftsNmore:  well if your mother would allow her guests to be B-listed.  I’d totally do that.  They would never have to know they were B-listed since they prob don’t know any of the other guests.

Chances are in your favor I think with 139 invites that you would have no more than 120 people showing up, but yeah it can be risky too.

Post # 11
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@AndysCraftsNmore:  and I wouldn’t be so quick to write off out of town.  People go out of their way for weddings since they prob see people they haven’t seen in a long time.  Sometimes OOT-ers make more of an effort than people who live down the street.

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