(Closed) Guest List Help: Spouses of co-workers

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

If you are a stickler for etiquette, the rule is that married and engaged couples have to be invited together or not at all, no matter what.  They are social units.

However, this subject has come up before on the Bee and my impression has been that most people are understanding of being invited to co-workers’ weddings alone because they recognize that the invitation is extended mostly as a courtesy.

It’s a technical breach of etiquette, but likely wouldn’t ruffle too many feathers.

Post # 4
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wow, that’s tough one.

Technically, not inviting spouses is a big etiquette no no.  But so is pressuring the bride into inviting them.  I would say if you feel compelled to invite them, leave the spouses out.

Post # 5
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe just address the invites to the co-worker’s name and if they RSVP for 2 people, let that happen and let them bring their husbands.  Maybe they’ll just RSVP for themselves if they understand you’re on a tight budget.  On a side note though, I’d feel strange if my husband were invited to a wedding and I wasn’t – and he probably wouldn’t go – so maybe that’ll eliminate some co-workers all together if you only address to their name.

Post # 6
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If these people are practically forcing you to invite them, I wouldn’t be surprised if they brought their spouses anyways.

Post # 7
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Tell them that the venue only allows so many people, and your guest list is full of family and the venue will kick you out if you exceed fire code capacity. Then stop talking about your wedding at work.  If they ask you questions about wedding planning, just be evasive and give non-responses.

Post # 8
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree just tell your co workers that your venue only allows so many and you have met that number with your family. That would elimanate all of the spouse confusion, save you money and not have your co workers there, because it really doesnt sound like you want them there anyways,and I am a firm believer that you should only have the people you want at your wedding there.

Post # 9
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Try to get out of this mess!!! It is not their wedding, they aren’t paying, and you don’t even seem to want them there!!! If they bring it up again, tell some white lies – Say your mom already sent invitations to 20 of your old friends and now your room is over-capacity, and while you would love to have them there just isn’t a seat in the whole damn squished place!

Post # 12
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I was recently invited to a wedding by a friend of mine and did not include my fiance on the invite but told me I was allowed to RSVP for him anyways. Well 10 days before the RSVP deadline she texted me and told me he can’t come because they reached their venue limit (thanks to her fiance inviting random people last min). My fiance didnt want to go to the wedding anyways but I was seriously considering not going.

With all that being said, I think you should be upfront with them in the begining. Spouses can’t come!

The topic ‘Guest List Help: Spouses of co-workers’ is closed to new replies.

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