Weddingbee boards

LONG VENT!

My mom is paying for our wedding.  I found the perfect venue, cermony and reception will be at the same location, with a great price.  My FI is a GM at a night club, I'm the MGR and his partner just opened a second club which he helps out with from time to time.   Both clubs combined is a total of about 35-40 employees and if given a plus 1 that's 80 freaking people.  I know unless there is an emergency everyone that works at the club we run will come.  I was planning on inviting only about 5 people from the second club but all of a sudden everyone is asking about the wedding and how much they can't wait.  I am hoping they are just trying to be nice.  We changed the date of the wedding to a Sunday because both clubs are closed on Sunday.

I know because I am having the ceremony and reception at the same location that I can't just invite people to the ceremony and not the reception.  I don't want to invite any employees at all and have a seperate reception for them later on at the new club where it would be open bar and just some finger foods.  My FI said that it would be rude and we had to invite them.  He has let me have my way for the whole planning process so its hard to argue with him when he is asking for something.

So I spoke with my mom and told her that because of all these extra people I just wanted to do lots of finger foods instead of a meal because it would be way cheaper and she said NO that we have to have a meal.

Now, the venue can accomodate the people so we don't have a problem there.  Its just that I the club were to shut down tomorrow, I would only keep in touch with about 5 of them and invite them.  A lot of them are very young and inconsiderate and I know this wedding is just a way for them to get drunk for free and wouldn't even stop on the the way to the wedding and buy us a card. 

In addition to the club giving them gift cards at Christmas, I buy everyone a present out of my money usually socks for the guys and lotions and hand sanitizers for the girls. I make sure that everyone has a cake and a card for their bday, Valentines day everyone gets candy and the girls get little stuff animals and some of these people have been working with me for four years and they get me absolutley nothing.  I know cash is tight with them but not even a card.  In 4 years I've gotten 2 presents.  I don't want anything from them but like I said they are very inconsiderate and I don't want to spend all that extra money on them. 

I guess whats pissing me off even more is that I always buy extra presents in case an old employee shows up when I am handing out presents so they can have something too and someone stole my extra presents.  Of all the people they could steal from they stole from me and that is just pissing me off. 

I have to work with them but I do not want them there on my special day.  There I've said it.  Sorry it's so long.

I don't have a problem saying NO but my FI is insisting that we invite every one.  The scary thing is they don't miss free events and I'm really scared that they all show up.  From time to time we do an employee appreiciation and they drink and eat like there is no tomorrow.  I guess I'm just one of those people that always try to make everyone feel special and I know the thought of buying us a simple card wouldn't even cross their minds and the purpose of coming wouldn't be to witness our union but rather to get wasted.