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I would sit down with your FI and come up with the list together. Technically only the two of you are responsible for the weding. It will also make things easier down the road since she didn't want to give you a list, it shouldn't be an issue about going over on numbers.
You have her son tell her
"mom, if you dont ge us your lis by date then we are going to have to make the list for you"
Then you make the list and call who you have to call to get addresses and mail out the STDs.
Can't your FI at least make a basic guest list for you? He knows his side of the family (relatives and such), so he should be able to go online to Dexknows.com or whatever andlook up their addresses.
It is time for you FH to handle his mother and tell her if she doesn't get you all the list, then they don't get any invites besides the ones you already know. Have him set a firm date with her and stick to it. He really needs to handle this himself as this is his mother, the more you push, the more she will push back. If he takes a stand on this little thing, it will mean a world of difference down the road. Sorry you are going through this.
Welcome to the Hive and Thank you and your FH for your service!
Have your FI talk to his mom, otherwise let her know you need them by X date otherwise you're just going to send your side's STDs.
I think that will light a fire under her and then you can send out his side's STDs whenever you get the list from her. Hopefully she cooperates and sends the list to you soon!
Thank you ladies! I am very thankful for all your feedback! I spoke with her today and we settled on next week at the latest. As long as that happens, we should be good. Otherwise, her guests will not be getting a STD from us. I have them designed, so I will be ordering and sending them out next week, regradless. Again, thanks!
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Okay, so my soon-to-be mother-in-law is refusing to get a guest list to me. I emailed her a month ago and requested it, after phoning a few times about it. I listed exacly how I had made mine, that kids are invited, everyone over the age of 16 gets a plus one, and so on. She still has not gotten back to me. I've seen her since, doesn't say a word. My mother has attempted to speak to her about it, just to ask, she won't talk about it. I know that they aren't entirely thrilled that we are getting married in the short timeframe that we are, and they have openly spoken their minds about it, but we are a military couple, and deployment is coming up. We want to be married a good amout of time before it so that we can actually enjoy being newlyweds. Also, we live 8 hours apart and are ready to just be together. We grown up our whole lives together, and the distance has taken it's toll. We knew the time was right, so even without their full arroval we went ahead. Anyway, back to my point, his parents are going through so health issues currently, so I understand that is going to take affect in certain things and I have tried to back off as much as I can. But I'm now at the point where I need to send out my Save the Dates and I can't cause I only have the guest list for my side. I also can't give any of my vedors or my venue a headcount of any form. What do I do? HELP PLEASE!