Post # 1
I’ve been going over my guest list, as I have to get STD’s out soon, and I’m having a really hard time with the guest list. I know I’m not the only one, but my family is so screwed up. Future hubby doesn’t want to help with hardly any of the details of planning the wedding, seeing as he would much rather go in front of the justice and just get it done and over with.
So, onto my guest list problems. My mom and dad split up 18 years ago and both remarried. I’m really not close with too many people on my stepmoms side of the family, but I feel like I have to invite them because she’s been my stepmom for almost 15 years now. My grandma also doesn’t talk to my uncle and vice versa. My uncles kids do not talk to him either. Also, my mom and my stepdad broke up a few years back and I only really talk to my stepdad, his new gf and his mom. And there have been 3 weddings in my stepdads family, none of which I was invited too, although they all claim that we are still family. There are several people that I would like to invite, but don’t want to invite their entire family, although I feel like I have to because I used to be close with them as well.
Sorry for the rambling on, I’m just stressed. I just sat here for over an hour with my sister trying to make sure I didn’t miss anyone. I just don’t know what to do about all this family drama. Right now, we are at almost 150 people and 95% are family/ex-stepfamily. I’m having the wedding at my dads house (he has acres of land), but I thought this was going to be a small-ish wedding and the guest list is turning into a nightmare.
Any suggestions for cutting down this list?
Post # 3
@truefrommetoyou: Don’t invite people just because they are family. There are quite a few family members that we aren’t inviting because of our budget and the fact that we want friends there. Invite the people that you want to invite. If anyone says anything about not being invited, (which is extremely rude) tell them that your budget would only allow a certain number of guests. We are only inviting the family that we spend time with and enjoy seeing.
It’s a wedding, which is very expensive, and, unfortunately, not everyone can be invited. My fi and I have a ridiculous amount of friends and we had to be picky about who is being invited. Also, it sounds like there is potential for family drama at the wedding, which is the last thing you need on your special day. The guest list was probably the hardest part for us. Start by cutting out the people you “have” to invite, while keeping those that you think would add to your day. Good luck!
Post # 4
I would invite: your biological family, and stepfamily that you are close with, like your stepparents and stepsiblings. But mainly invite who you want to be there with you on your special day 🙂
Post # 5
First, I would say invite your immediate biological family, any of their spouses and fiancees, then other family is optional. Of course, if your dad is paying, you do have to consult him, but otherwise, even thought your SM has been in your life a number of years, her parents and siblings are a degree further “out” than your aunts, uncles and siblings.
Second, I would say, go REAL easy on STDs. Once you send a STD, you are committed to inviting that person. I know many brides get excited and want to send them out, but IMHO, other than VIPs and OOT people, they are both unnecessary and can create more problems.