- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2011
I’m new to this board. My FI and I have been together for about 4.5 years (living together for two) and got engaged a little over a week ago. We are in the very early stages of wedding planning. I guess I need some advice, or maybe even to vent a little. 😉
My FI and I are personally not comfortable with spending any more than $5K or $7K total on our wedding (including the honeymoon). If we pay ourselves, we would more than likely do a small dinner party. I would be fine with this, and FI says he would be too, BUT he would prefer a larger wedding. I want to make my FI happy, if at all possible.
If we were to have a larger wedding, my guest list would be 45 people max (this number is attributing mutual friends to me, and of the 45 there is a good chance at least 5 wouldn’t be able to make it). On the other hand, FI made a list of about 150. He said he could make some cuts, but still….
Anyway, my parents have not offered to contribute. After learning we were engaged, FI’s parents kept saying “we would like to help.” So, they invited us to their house about a week ago “to talk about the wedding.” Prior to the meeting, I did a lot of research and figured out, ball-park, how much it is to rent a venue, and some basic per person rates. The parents also had a catered party at their house last fall, so they should have some basic idea, too.
When we got to FI parents’ house, they wouldn’t even give an estimate of what they wanted to contribute. Needless to say, I found the meeting very frustrating and confusing. My FI said that “this is how they work” and seems to think that they will tell us at some point how much they can contribute. I’m really confused…
I don’t know at what point we should just start planning a small dinner party… but then I am worried FI parents will get upset b/c FI can’t invite everyone in the family. Aunts and uncles would have to be left out (and they are all fairly close and live in the same town, so I do think people would feel “snubbed.”)
I guess I just sort of feel like the wedding doesn’t have anything to do with me at this point, and am a bit overhwhelmed.
Well, I’d appreciate any advice, and thanks for listening! 🙂