(Closed) Guest List Issues – Momma Demands and "B-List" Enthusiasm

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you are paying for it then her friends can’t get upset – it’s not like your parents are hosting and didn’t invite them.  

As for bumping people up – I think that sounds like a slippery slope! You can’t invite everyone that asks you about your wedding.  Definitely prioritize and invite who you want to be there.  You can’t help if people ask about your wedding – that doesn’t mean you have to invite them!  Easier said than done I know, but people will get over it if they aren’t invited.

Post # 5
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

“I think she might have already told them to come without my consent.”- Well, that’s going to be awkward if they don’t have a place to sit, now won’t it? 😉

“I don’t think I could pick them out of a lineup”- This is exactly why they should NOT be at your wedding- ESPECIALLY since you and FI are footing the bill. FI or I know everyone at our wedding, and that’s how it should be. It’s not your mother’s sorority reunion, it’s her daughter’s wedding.

The way you have the guest list split is VERY generous- if 1/3 is your family. You can tell her- you get 50 people, if these women are so important, cut out someone else. Or she can B-list someone.

Post # 6
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Your mom really needs to understand that this is YOUR wedding and not hers. It’s really selfish of your mom to try to force you to invite her friends over yours. Honestly, you just need to put your foot down and tell her that they aren’t being invited. And realistically, is your mom even going to have time to talk to them?? Since so much of her family is coming you’d think she’d be busy visiting with them.

I had to deal with similar issues when making my guest list so I understand how frustrating this is! You need to stay strong though! Maybe tell your mom that they’re on B list? Just have a lot of people on the B list in front of them. :]

Post # 7
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@nkatsa:  My mother invited people without telling me. I didn’t send them invites. If she did that, it is on her, not you. Even if she was paying, this your YOUR wedding with your FI and your close friends take priority over some fairweather people.

Post # 8
Member
47 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Tell people who you know you can’t invite that you won’t be inviting them (like coworkers) early on. People are just excited about weddings and for you, I enjoyed hearing the planning details of my coworker’s 50 guest wedding and I knew I would not be invited. We exchanged a lot of ideas and shared magazines. You could even say it’s “family and family-friends only”. 

 

As for your mom, no idea! But you know what my brother ended up having less people than they thought and using their B-list. So you never know, send out invites early.

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