- 6 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
Definitely need some help here. We’re trying to stick to our guest list of 150 and actually chose a venue that can only hold 150 so that we could actually legitimately tell people that we wanted an intimate reception and we’re limited on space.
The problem is that my mom insists on inviting her sorority sisters from 30 years ago, so that would be an additional four women plus husbands. I’ve probably met some of them a few times in my life, but I don’t think I could pick them out of a lineup. My FI and I are paying for the wedding, but she offered to pay for her extra friends. I told her that was very nice of her to offer, but that the issue is more about the space than the money, I didn’t want to kick eight of our real friends that we see all the time off the guest list to make room for her friends.
But she is INSISTING, saying that her friends will be really hurt and that she’s seen friendships broken because of stuff like this. I think that’s ridiculous, but she’s acting like this is non-negotiable and is basically considering them invited. FYI for some background, about 50 of the 150 on the guest list are already family members from her side of the family (all her brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, some old family friends), so it’s not like she wants her friends there cuz she’ll be lonely without them. I don’t know if she’ll budge on this, and since she saw them recently, I think she might have already told them to come without my consent. Do I just have to pick my battles and agree to put them on the guest list so that this doesn’t turn into a big blow up?
In light of all of this, I’m trying to find ways to pare down our original list even more and we’re trying to set our invitation rules, but the problem is that people seem to keep coming out of the woodwork! It feels like I keep bumping into friends that I get along with great but don’t see that often or am not super close to who I put on the “B-List,” and for some reason they all seem to be super excited about hearing every detail about the wedding! The exact same thing happens every time I go out to lunch with co-workers (and we’re planning to cut out all the coworkers to keep the list more manageable). I try to keep it vague and just say “oh, y’know, it’s going okay, we’re still in the middle of planning” and they all say stuff like “Ohh I’m so excited, I can’t wait! When you figure out the details, give me a call, I want to hear all about it! Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help! Do you have the dress? What does it look like? Etc.”
It’s really sweet that they’re so excited, but then it makes me rethink if I should bump them up to the A-list… but I don’t have room for them!! And isn’t the rule that if you talk to them about the wedding, then you should probably invite them? I try not to bring it up with too many people, but what if they’re the ones that keep asking about it?? I do my best to change the subject and deflect the conversation, but for some of them it’s all they want to talk about.
Anyone else have this issue with their friends? And the most ironic part is that it’s almost always the B-list guests, my A-list family members rarely bring it up. hahaha.