Post # 1
Hello everyone! I could use some help. My fiance and I got engaged back in 2007 and we’re getting married next june (2010) so we have a lot of time, but I don’t want to get stuck rushing so, we’re trying to do the guest list.
The problem is that there are people from my side of the family, and some friends that he doesn’t like. Not one bit. However, these are people I have known my entire life, we have been invited to their weddings and I feel it’d be an insult not to invite them. I’ve told him that and he gets very defensive and says it shouldn’t matter.
I’ve told him he needs to change and realize these people mean something to me, even though they don’t to him. I just can’t seem to make him see that I’m doing that for him with some of his friends. I don’t really care for them but they are important to him so I don’t complain.
How do I get him to realize that he’s not being fair?
Post # 3
It doesn’t make sense why he gets to invite people you don’t like but you don’t get to invite people he doesn’t like. Does he have really good reasons for not liking them or is it just a personality clash?
I think you guys should each get a certain amount of "free for all" invites, no questions asked and no criticisms or vetos allowed. If he can’t agree to being fair then I don’t know what to tell you…it’s weird that he’s being so irrational!
Post # 4
I agree with emileee. If he gets to invite some people that you don’t like, then you should be allowed the same courtesy. Does he know that some of the people on his side of the guest list are people you don’t like? He might think you just like everyone he’s invited. The idea of each of you getting a certain amount of "free for all" invites is a great one and you should discuss it with your FI.
Post # 5
Thanks for the support. I actually talked about it with him last night, and he agreed on the "free for all" with a few friends. He did start to see what I mean, and it’s the fact that some of them, like it or not are family and always will be.