Guest List: Only Inviting Parents, Siblings, and Friends

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 2
35 posts
  • Wedding: June 2014

discodance:  i was in the exact same situation!!! i ended up caving and inviting immediate family, aunts, and uncles (many of whom im not even close with). now my guest list is up to 100 and i am really regretting my decision.

GO WITH YOUR GUT! you might tick some people off, but this is your day. you seem like you are probably a lot like me.  you don’t want the added stress, trust me!

Post # 4
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

discodance:  I’m in a very similar situation! We had a VERY brief 5 minute “ceremony” last year before we moved far away and never got to celebrate with our friends, but my side of the family was there. Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, etc… we now are trying really hard to keep costs of our celebration down, and I’m on the fence about whether or not to invite the family. It’s a difference of almost 30 people! How are you going to explain the situation to them? I’m so torn, but can’t afford to have 100 people there, especially when half already saw us get married once! 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by  missgeegee.
Post # 5
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

We did what you are planning, and have no regrets. We invited what we define as our “immediate” families and our very closest friends. Our guest list ended up being 35 (including us and our son).

We wanted a small wedding, and I had no qualms about leaving all of my Aunts/Uncles/cousins off the list. I mean, I have 9 aunts/uncles, plus their spouses, plus about 50 first cousins, all of their spouses, and each of them have an average of 3 kids. We were easliy looking at a 300 person guest list to accomodate my family. No thank you.

I know some of my extended family that I am close to were upset about not being invited, and I was bummed that they couldn’t be there. But I wasn’t about to do the pick and choose thing, because I think that would create even more negativity in the end. To be entirely honest, my entire extended family on my Mom’s side (the side I am closer to) fell apart during the year that I was planning my wedding. We had 3 deaths and a huge, messy, nasty blowout between the siblings. I have disengaged from that side rather than deal with the drama. Maybe my wedding would have been an opportunity to bring people together and start smoothing things over. Or maybe it would have been a shitshow if I invited them all. We’ll never really know what would have happened if we had chosen the path of a larger wedding.

But I do kow that on my wedding day I was genuinely thrilled to see each and every person that was in the room with us. And I know that if we ever needed support for our marriage, or people to celebrate a victory with, the people in that room would be the very first ones we turned to. Knowing that we were surrounded by our core group of awesome people made our wedding day that much more amazing.

Post # 6
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

No, as an extended family member I only expect (want) an invite when I am close to either the bride or groom. In fact I decline invites from extended family that I am not close with. 

We had a very small wedding too. Ours was even smaller because my husband didn’t want to offend his extended family by  inviting his closest friends over them.

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