Post # 1
The FI and I decided long before our engagement that we when got married there wouldn’t be any children invited, besides those in our wedding party. Mainly because we don’t we our friends to have to censor themselves and worry about watching their children instead of having a good time. And our venue is on the water, so I don’t want to worry about safety issues with children being there.
(Sidenote: a cousin didn’t invite any children and family members were upset about it, so I knew what was coming anyway with this decision)
Here’s where it gets tricky… my Mom has a group of best friends, and I’ve become closer to them since the passing of my father. Every summer we vacation with them and their children, but I haven’t been able to go in a few years and I’m not really close to their kids. Well the vacation week this upcomning year, falls on the day after my wedding, so hypothetically they would stay at my wedding & the next day continue their drive to the vacation. The problem: I’m only planning on inviting the adult couples, not any of their children (which would add 20 ppl to my list if I did).
Sorry this is kind of long but I have no idea how to deal with this situation, and any advice at all would be so helpful.
Post # 3
I think your mother should help you explain to them that this is an adults only affair and that you hope they can make it. If they make the decision not to go, because they don’t have anyone to watch their kids, just make sure there are no hard feelings.
I don’t understand why this issue gets so complicated with weddings, but you’re entitled to throw the wedding you want to have. If you don’t want or have the budget to include every child, then you shouldn’t feel obligated to.
Post # 4
I think you should offer babysitting service to these friends. This way, they aren’t forced to choose between their family and attending. Also, is your wedding local? Or, would these guests be traveling in from out of town? Will it even be feasible for them to attend your wedding and leave for vacation the next day?
Post # 5
Depending on the ages of the children they might not need a sitter. If they do need one, do you know of anybody they could hire? They last wedding I went to was out of town, and we had my 13 year old nephew with the kids in the hotel room. My Aunt gave us the name of a friend of hers that lived near the hotel so in case of an emergency he could call them and be there right away. I have no problem with adult only weddings, but if they are from out of town and you can helpout, it makes it easier for them.
Post # 6
@louisianablue:I don’t know why it gets complicated either, our friends with children are completely okay with traveling to our wedding without them and enjoying themselves.
@eupenmalmody: I thought about doing a babysitting service for those that just cannot come without their children. But this particular group, their children aren’t really children anymore I guess, their ages are probably between middle school and college age. It’s just not in our budget to have all those extra people there.
I read somewhere else about weddings are not a place to catch up with people. I want to enjoy myself at my wedding and not have to worry about playing catch up with people I haven’t seen in years. I guess I can’t really make everyone happy, but it still doesn’t make it easier.
Post # 7
eek these aren’t even really children? To me children are under 12 and are much cheaper for catering. If these kids are college age, it’s a different situation.
Post # 8
Take the wedding out of the equation. If these people were taking a long road trip, stopping overnight and wanted to go out for an adult evening, they would figure out what to do with their children.
If they are old enough to stay on their own at the hotel, no problem.
If they need a sitter, you can provide a list or they can use professional services offered by hotels.
Do not make this your problem.
Post # 9
Oh my! I wouldn’t even worry about not inviting them! I didn’t know they were so old. If I was the kid in this situation, I would understand that I am not invited to everything. They are old enough to do their own thing that night. I wouldn’t stress it at all!