Post # 1
Okay this might be a weird question for a lot of you, but I am having a difficult time figuring out what to do in this situation.
My dad’s family does not speak to him(haven’t heard from them since my grandma’s funeral-3 years ago and there’s ALWAYS been beef between all of them—not sure why exactly)…Only two of his sisters, his brother, and two of my cousins still talk to us/visit us. I’ve asked my dad if I should invite his entire family, or only the ones that still speak to us and his response is he doesn’t care either way….not very helpful.
I don’t want to cause a bunch of drama/fighting by not inviting all of them, however I know that if I do invite all of them, there will be drama if they show up. Really, it’s like a high school get together when they are all around each other. 🙁
My mom says to invite them all because they probably won’t show up anyway….but what if they do show up and it’s just drama central? I can’t and don’t want to deal with that on my wedding day..(I don’t want my fiance to have to deal with it either). Also, it would bump our guest list up to right around 200 and we were trying to keep it at 175. I don’t want to have to cross of close friends that would actually make it a great celebration for people who haven’t spoken to us in years….I guess that’s wrong/selfish of me. I’m so frustrated because I just don’t know what to do!
Suggestions on what I should do….invite them all? only the ones who talk to us?.
Post # 2
“I don’t want to have to cross of close friends that would actually make it a great celebration for people who haven’t spoken to us in years…”
If you have to remove good friends to get these people on the list, you have your answer! You have the right to be surrounded by people who actually care about you two. They might get their knickers in a twist over not being invited, but it’s YOUR wedding and you should only invite people you trust to be able to celebrate with you!
Post # 3
it is ok to not invite family that you don’t speak to. invite the members you are close with.
i didn’t invite my mom’s brother because they had a huge falling out and i haven’t spoken to them in years.
Post # 4
- Wedding: February 2013 - Mansion House at the MD Zoo
My mom’s family has a similar issue–she and her siblings literally have factions. Her brother and youngest sister have been in a fight for years and everyone has picked a side. My mom is on the sister’s side, although honestly my aunt is difficult and crazy and her brother is probably right to want to stay away from her. Anyway, I invited all of them. My uncle and another aunt didn’t come, but that way I made it their decision, not mine. My cousins and I have basically taken the attitude that we’re not getting involved in the “grown-up’s” fight and will have our own relationships with them and with one another. I’d advise you to do the same. Odds are they won’t come, but at least you’re being the bigger person. And most adults can act appropriately. If they can’t, just give the groomsmen a head’s up to keep an eye on things and diffuse/remove people if needed. (We had to do a similar thing because of an issue between DH’s father and stepdad. Everything ended up fine.) Good luck!
Post # 5
soontobeMrsBoo: Thanks for your input! I really hope if I do end up inviting them all that nothing bad happens if/when they show up! Good idea to have the groomsmen be on the look out too.