(Closed) Guest List Question

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I guess if it were me, I’d base that decision on how well I want the person to be at my wedding. 

Post # 4
Member
3126 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

@SoontobeMsL: No. I only invited people to my wedding that I want there.

To me, that seems like a bad reason to cut them from the list. I guess it sort of seems like that reasoning is because they didn’t give a gift they don’t deserve a spot, and I would rather have everyone I care about at my wedding even if none of them bring a gift or a card (even if it means I have to track each and every one of them myself to get their RSVP).

Post # 5
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t think that not sending a gift is reason to eliminate them from the wedding…the biggest problem to me would be the not responding in a timely manner. I would invite anyone that I wanted to the wedding, and just make it very clear that if they don’t respond by the RSVP deadline that I will assume that they won’t be attending.

Post # 6
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

From what I understand the bridal shower list is based ON the wedding guestlist. So you don’t invite people to the shower that aren’t invited to the wedding… saying that, you’ve already “told” those people their invited to the wedding & therefore can’t “un-invite” them just because they didn’t make or respond to the shower…. infact they may have decided to just attend the wedding for scheduling reasons and take their gift their rather than the shower….. but ultimately I think that’s up to them to decide given you’ve already invited them

Post # 7
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You shouldn’t invite anyone to the bridal shower unless they were also going to be invited to the wedding.  Whether they came or not, or whether they sent a gift or not, makes no difference.  It’s hard to say what their reasoning may have been for missing the shower and not letting you know.  Perhaps they were worried about letting you down?  Either way, I think for good measure they should still be invited to the wedding.  If they don’t come, they don’t come.  But it should be their choice.

Post # 8
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was not able to attend the shower for a wedding due to working my second job to help save for MY wedding.  I was not able to meet up with the bride to be until this weekend, and they are getting married….next weekend.  I gave her a gift and had appologized multiple times for not being able to make the shower.  But I have never heard of someone not being invited because they didn’t attend the shower first,  🙁  It is your wedding, so it’s your choice if you feel you really need to uninvite them from the wedding. 

Post # 9
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Invited to shower = must be invited to wedding

Post # 10
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

IMO, I think you should still invite them. Did you call them to see if they even received the bridal shower inviation? It could be a miscommunication. And it’s not typical (in my circle) to send a shower gift if you don’t attend. It’s something that is up to their discretion… but the point of a shower is to shower you with gifts. If you can’t attend the shower, then I would see no reason to give a gift. Especially if I were planning to attend the wedding and send a wedding gift.

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