- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 2013
Fiance and I are just working on our guest list right now (preliminary so we have a good guess of the number when we go speak with reception venues this week) and have a bit of a conundrum. well two actually
1. I’ve heard that with guests lists, it should be ‘all or nothing’ as in if you invite one cousin, you need to invite all cousins. If you invite one second cousin you have to invite all second cousins. Problem is I have a large family, some whom I am very close to, some whom if I saw them in the street I would have no idea who they are. One of my cousins got married last year and looking at the photos my parents took, the only reason I knew which one was my cousin was because she was the one in the big white dress with the veil. I don’t really want to invite people that I don’t even know, just because they’re cousins, and so I can invite second cousins whom I am cloes to (like one second cousin that I see at least once a month and we talk on the phone, text, e-mail each other all the time). If we were to invite all my cousins and second cousins, we’d be looking at just over 350 guests, and we were hoping to keep the guest list under 200. Is it fine to not invite cousins don’t I know and only invite family I do know?
2. Fiance is the opposite. He only has 7 cousins (14 total if you include spouses or plus ones). One of them however, who isn’t even a blood relative, she’s adopted, is a drama factory. She says she’ll attend family events, then ditch at the last minute, then 1/2 way through call and say she wants to attend anyways but someone needs to come pick her up. Her parents generally oblige. (Not something I think they should be doing, because they’re just enabling her, but nothing I can do about this). She was ‘engaged’ to the father of her most recent child, then split up with him and became ‘engaged’ to someone else days later. She lies all the time, and has lied to my face on more than one occasion. Many people commented on my facebook about mine and my fiance’s engagement, congratulating us, but no one commented on her facebook when she posted about her new engagement a couple days later. Then she posted this big long rant about how its ‘unfair’ that some people get special treatment when something big happens in their life and when something big happens in her life no one even cares or bothers to congratulate her. I REALLY don’t want to invite her because I know she’s just going to cause drama. Fiance feels the same. If we were doing selective invites with his cousins as with mine, I wouldn’t feel so bad, but it really seems wrong to invte his other 6 cousins (who are all biological cousins) and not this one adopted cousin. Would it be wrong to invite all FI’s cousins but this one?