Post # 1
Soooo, we need to trim our guest list. We’ve already invoked the “if they haven’t met both of us they’re out” rule, but our number is still on the high side for my comfort.
My question is about family; specifically aunts & uncles and their kids. My Dad has 3 brothers and we’ll be inviting each of them, along with their wives. FI and I would like to invite the children of brothers 1 & 2, but not necessarily those of brother 3. While I grew up with all of them, I’m just not as close to #3’s kids anymore.
I understand the “all or nothing” idea as it applies to siblings, but what about cousins? If we invite one uncle’s kids, do we need to invite them all?
Post # 3
@lolalovesjosh: In my opinion, yes. I think it looks rude to not invite all of your cousins if one or two are already invited.
Post # 4
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
Are they adults? If they are adults, you do not need to invite them, but I personally would to avoid drama. If they live at home with the aunt/uncle you are inviting, then you need to apply the same rule across the board.
Post # 5
Yes I’d probably invite all cousins or no cousins. But in saying that, it’s your day and you can do what you like 🙂
Post # 6
According to etiquette, this is probably wrong. With that said, I am having a really small laid back wedding and I only invited one set of cousins because they were the only ones that expressed any interest. Growing up I only saw my cousins around Christmas and frankly I didn’t like them. They were all older than me and bullied me so I decided not to invite anyone I didn’t want to see. I really don’t think there are going to be any hurt feelings over my invites, but If you think some toes might be stepped on you might want to abide by the “all or nothing” rule. Good luck!
Post # 7
Yes, I think it’s all or nothing with cousins.
Post # 8
@mrsSonthebeach: Yes, they are all adults.
The reason we’re not close is that (in general) they don’t make an effort. My Dad’s family has a reunion every summer and all of my other cousins attend pretty much every year. Out of this group of 4, they have probably attended once or twice in the last 10 years. Two of them Fiance has only met because we attended my uncle’s retirement party a few months ago.
I’m sure I will bite the bullet and include them all, mostly because my Aunt (uncle’s wife) is the type to take offense easily and hold a grudge f-o-r-e-v-e-r
Post # 9
Usually I go with all or nothing. HOWEVER, I think that if there are three brothers and you wanted to invite one brother’s children that would be okay because you are inviting a minority, and leaving out the majority. Since you want to invite two brothers’ children and not one… you are inviting the majority and leaving out the minority. In this case a few more people might not be a big difference. Keep in mind you might have a minimum to fulfill for the venue, and there are always people who RSVP no.