(Closed) Guest List Remorse

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1755 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@BlueSky07:  I think that weddings make us nostalgic.  However, that said.  If someone I’d lost touch with from a former job or back in college sent me a wedding invitation out of the blue, I’d feel like they were after a gift.

What I’d suggest is since it’s too late to invite them anyway, after you’re back from your honeymoon, make contact and share your good news! 

Post # 4
Member
11354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Yes.  I had a venue with a max capacity of 170, so that’s the maximum number of people who could receive the first round of invitations. I did have a “B” list of all of the friends I truly also wanted to be able to invite but whom I could not invite due to the number of family members we invited.

The moment I received “regrets” from anyone, I popped the next invitation into the mail (always keeping social circles together so that no one would be talking to someone else who had been invited weeks earlier).

I ultimately ended up with only 148 people, and while I think that is definitely for the best, because my small venue was quite crowded even with that smaller number, I do sometimes wish I had invited my college friends and some additional friends from my current and former churches.

Post # 5
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I’ve done the same thing.  It depresses me sometimes, but I’ve accepted that the past is the past, and I unfortunately can’t change who didn’t get invited.

Post # 6
Member
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’ve had the opposite problem…..I opened my big mouth and verbally invited people months ago that I now really wish I hadn’t…and I can’t un-invite them because they got hotel rooms, etc….blah. It works both ways I guess 😛

Post # 7
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@sara_tiara:  I did the same. Too many you should come! Now, worrying about RSVPS and budget!

Post # 8
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@sara_tiara:  lol.  I did the same.  Thus, I wasn’t able to invite people who I now regret not inviting, and I had to invite a few people I would have been okay without.

Post # 9
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Remember the wedding is just one day!  If there are people you’d like to get back in touch with, there will be other occasions to invite them.

Post # 10
Member
2693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That does suck.  Hope you enjoy your big day though.

Post # 12
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@BlueSky07:  This was me last Sunday. I was at church, and I saw some old friends that I wished I would have invited. At the time, we were at capacity on our guest list, and I didn’t want anybody to feel like they were “B List”. My dad also brought another interesting perspective. He mentioned that with the economy and money being tighter, some people might almost be happy that they weren’t invited just so they don’t have to give a gift.

I’m not expecting huge, extravagant gifts, but I can see how that could be difficult on people.

Post # 14
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m having a similiar problem. I want to have a B list of people to invite but unfortunately my invitations have the RSVP date on them! Our wedding is not until Nov 10th but we already sent out the invites with the RSVP date as June 30th( my fiancé insisted due to people coming in from out of town and group hotel deadlines). There is totally enough time to send a B list after the original RSVP date but if not for the invitations having that June 30th date written on them! Any recs from fellow bees out there?

Post # 15
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would say there are a select few situations where a late invite would be appreciated… the example I can think of is your work friends. They know they’re your “work friends” and as such wouldn’t expect an invitation, and also know that your relationship has changed over the course of your wedding planning.

I’ve been in a situation where I’ve received an invitation based on the fact obligatory invitations were no’s, “Aunt Mildred isn’t coming, and I know this is last minute, but I’d love you to come, if you’re free.” It really depends on your relationship with those people you see daily and I would recommend you hand deliver the invites with a short and heartfelt explanation.

However, PP are correct, people you haven’t seen in forever, nope. 🙂

Post # 16
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Thanks, that’s the perfect way to do it! And those people on my B list would totally understand as well since we are not too close ( hence the B list).  Thanks so much!!

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