Post # 1
So FH and I are having a small (in our opinion) wedding (about 100 adults on the guest list – about 40 of that being my family)
as of now, our co-workers are not invited. Apparently, one of FH’s co-workers (who he is sort of friends with – they go for a beer once a monthish) would really like to come to the wedding. so he and his wife are on the maybe list.
My office is another challenge. I’d like to invite my bosses (kinda feel like I should I guess), the 2 senior partners (and their wives). BUT my office is TEENY, there are a total of 7 people here full time including me. I definitely do not want to invite the 2 other full time people in my role, they’re people who I would never associate with outside work and I can barely tolerate them here most days.
The junior partner has stated on many occasions to me that he hates weddings, he also told me yesterday that he’s already been invited to a wedding the weekend of mine but he’s trying to find a way to get out of it/he’s probably going to go fishing instead.
So, can I invite just the 2 senior partners or would that be a big no-no. Should I not invite them at all because it’s kind of a small wedding and it would probably be weird to have them there. (I’m 30, bosses are 60 & 70).
Post # 3
@MsGinkgo: Co-workers are not friends. They are co-workers. If you happen to develop a genuine friendship with someone you work with – meaning you socialize outside of work in ways that are not work related – then I think its fine to invite that person. But it would be bad to invite half the office and not the other half.
I personally don’t think one should invite their boss. Its taking a business relationship and taking it outside the office for something personal and social. If you don’t ordinarily socialize with them outside of office functions, why would your wedding be different, you know? Plus, I think they can feel obligated to buy you a gift and I, personally, wasn’t comfortable with that.
Post # 4
@Zhabeego: very good point. I don’t think I will invite them, it’s one of those situations where I need someone else to tell me not to 🙂
Around here mega weddings are fairly common (like 400+ people) and therefore everyone you ever met gets invited (not really, but that’s the way it feels), I just need reassurance that I don’t need to invite them.
I think it’s the Jr partners questions that were making me feel almost like he was expecting one.
Post # 5
@MsGinkgo: I think it’s fine for you to invite your bosses and not the others.
Post # 6
@MsGinkgo: If the subject of your wedding comes up in the office, especially if you feel like anyone is expecting to be invited or is fishing for an invitation – just mention casually that you’re having a VERY small wedding.
Post # 7
I agree that a work relationship does not necessarily equate to an invitation to your wedding.
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: We aren’t inviting current coworkers. Mainly because of that exact issue. To us, it seemed like an all-or-none type scenario to avoid hurting people’s feelings. We just didn’t have the space to invite an additional 30 people (coworkers plus spouses/guests).
However, we both are inviting coworkers from previous jobs that we became and have remained friends with.
Post # 9
I’m inviting my co-workers. I don’t socialize with them outside of work really, but felt it would be rude to not invite them. However, since we are having the ceremony in a 45 seat chapel, and his family takes up 31 seats, they are only invited to the reception. I figure it’s the best of both worlds, they don’t have to sit through a ceremony, and still get to eat, drink and make merry.
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: Do not invite them at all: not because it’s a small wedding, but because they are co-workers. Colleagues, even fellow-professionals, are not friends. Use work events and professional meetings to network and build your professional relationships. Use private social events to maintain friendships and personal relationships. Do not mix the two together.