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I totally understand we are going through some of this. Right now we are trying to decide on who gets invited. FI list is double what mine is because of his Church. I am stressing out about this.
Everyone has to draw the line somewhere and everyone has people that expect to be invited that aren't!
When I have those people I just say that we are keeping it small - which is true because we are only having 60 ppl and then ppl don't assume they are invited and I like it better that way!
Is there anything you can say to people like we are only having close relatives etc.?
I can't really tell how much of a problem this will be yet.. I want to keep at between 225 and 250, our "preliminary" list has about 315 b/c he has so many cousins! Thing is, he doesn't talk to or even see most of them ever. I just feel weird b/c I know his family will be talking amongst themselves and feel like when they figure out who did and did not get an invite, it will come back on me for some reason.
What we did when we were doing a larger guest list (we have since decided to do something smaller), was we drew the line at only 1st cousins age 14 and older, that we have seen in the last year or so, or talk to/communicate with frequently (more than just sending a Christmas Card kinda thing).
Just a thought!
Bella
That stinks. I can believe he has SIXTY first cousins! How many aunts and uncles does he have? I think people just need to understand that you can accommodate everyone unfortunately. If it makes you feel better we invited close to 315 and only had 220 people so maybe lots of those cousins will decline.
honey, i TOTALLY feel your pain! our venue seats 80 people...FI's family alone is 48 people. my family is much smaller than his, but even still that leaves little to NO room for friends. i'd much rather have friends at our wedding than family that we see at funerals and christmas. at this time i have no idea what to do and it's really stressing me out :-( since we're getting married in the afternoon we've thought of having an afterparty with friends, but that's just not good enough for me. plus, i have friends that want to throw me showers and that want to attend the showers. i'm not EVEN going to let them throw one and/or attend one if i can't invite them to the wedding. do anyother bees have experience with this? changing the venue is out of the question as it is our dream venue and already paid for.
No bride should stress about who they CAN invite and who they cant, if we were all filthy rich we would invite everybody and their mothers, but we arent, people should understand that we have to cut the list, and whoever that doesnt make it, should respectfully send a gift or a congratulate, all my female cousins live in Oregon and I havent seen them in ages, they never invited me to their weddings and im not upset about it because i know everybody is on a tight budget. I dont believe in spending a fortune on guests to celebrate with us if we never even talk or see them
Yeah, it's awful to have to look someone in the eye and smile at their congratulations and questions "When's the wedding? We'll be there!" knowing that you can't invite them. I am truly blessed in that there are more people who want to come than we can invite, but it's so sad to know that you have to say no to people who really do care and who want to be there.
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For those of you who had to draw the line at 1st cousins, 2nd cousins, children, co-workers, etc, did you have any awkward moments where someone was expecting to come and then you had to tell them "Actually no, you're stayng home, 2nd cousin! Have fun!"
How did you handle that?
FI has 60 first cousins and an infinity amount of 2nd cousins and our reception room can only hold a certain amount! I have no problem just not inviting people, but when they talk to me about it.. that's scary.