Post # 1
I know a wedding is all about two people that love each other and that is all that matters, but i’m finding it hard to not get a little sad when people i thought would come rsvp ‘no.’
I guess I always just thought that close friends and family would move mountains to be there if they had to because that is how FI and I are. We have always found ways to make it work to be there for our friends and family. We had SUCH a hard time creating our guest list because there was limited space so we spent weeks analyzing and selecting the people on the list.
20% already have said ‘no’… For instance, my aunt isn’t coming because she lives on the East Coast and said she just started a new job so she can’t. I spent two years saving to fly half way around the world for one of my bm’s weddings and my aunt can’t get on a plane late Friday to be here? She has known about the wedding for ages. I’m her first born niece, but I guess that isn’t important.
It’s just a little disheartening.
In the meantime, I’m focusing on all the people that love us and WILL be there. But I can’t help but subconsciously think our wedding is some kind of ‘relationship test.’
Did any of you find yourselves feeling this way? I feel so stupid for letting my feelings be hurt but I can’t help it.
Post # 3
In many ways it is a relationship test, but dont see it as the burning of bridges. There are certain “friends” who have neglected to be there for me during this process who live in my state mind you and wont be attending. To me that warrants a cold shoulder.
However, someone who lives on a different coast or has to take a plane to come to you should not be held to the same standard. You are her niece but she seems to have a legit reason. Ive been jobless for almost a year now. If I got a job and I couldnt take time off to go to someones wedding regardless of how close they are to me, I have to admit I would risk it and stay on the job. I have uncles who are not attending mine. My “best friend” is not attending it and she lives in my state!!! So again, dont hold it against her, especially not if she sends you a card or gift 🙂
Post # 4
I know what you mean. Our problem isn’t really with people not attending, as we wanted a smaller wedding,and the people we really care about can come. However, I am getting really tired of feeling like everything about our wedding is just an inconvenience for everybody. We moved the date 11 times for FIs family, and I still got a snarky comment from FSIL that we were “taking away” her Halloween party weekend at college. My bachelorette/bridal event was rescheduled 3 times to accommodate the 8 people I wanted there, and now 2 of them can’t really be bothered to make it, and since it’s 2 weekends before the wedding it can’t be moved again. And just a ton of other comments that make it seem like we are inconveniencing everyone by having the nerve to get married.
I know it’s not intentional, as our families in general have been great, but I guess as the bride I am the receptacle for everyone’s problems or issues when it comes to the wedding. And no matter what I do to fix it, everyone keeps having more problems.
Post # 5
P.S. Although I can’t help but be annoyed at one couple who RSVPed no, because we worked SO hard to go to their July wedding OOT. We weren’t going to go because of budget reasons and lack of vacation time, but then we heard they were so disappointed, so we made it happen. We paid $700 for plane tickets, and drove 2 hours to a more distant airport so we could get a nonstop flight for the Friday afternoon wedding. I lied to work about being sick so I wouldn’t have to use a vacation day we were saving for our wedding. We were in the city for the wedding for less than 24 hours so that I could be back in SD without losing too much time with my mom coming from Atlanta, who unfortunately had booked a flight to help with my wedding before we knew this wedding was scheduled. To put it mildly, we went above and beyond to get to this wedding.
Neither the bride or groom ever spoke to us personally, and they RSVPed (late) that they wouldn’t be able to make it to ours. If they can’t manage it, they can’t manage it, but I can’t help feeling like going to their wedding was NOT worth the effort or money. Rant over.
Post # 6
I am so sorry that you are feeling down about all of this. You seem very level headed. You know what is important, but its normal to feel the way that you do! In the end you will have a great time with the people that you love. Maybe not everyone will be able to be there, but Im sure its not because they simply dont want to be. There are other factors, so think about that when you start to get sad. Just rememver that your day will be amazing!!!
Post # 7
@baliahi1029: awwww 🙁 That is so awful!! i COMPLETELY understand how you would feel like that! If it makes you feel better, my step-sister RSVPed ‘no’ to our wedding because I didn’t respond to a facebook message she sent me… LOL. Seriously? It’s so petty I literally lolirl. It’s just sad and I honestly don’t even care. If someone can be THAT petty, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life.
I’m sorry your friend isn’t taking the same lengths you and your FI took to be there for them on their day. I would be really hurt as well.
I also see we’re wedding day twins! 10-29-11 is going to be a great day no matter what! Are you ready?? What else do you have left to plan/do??
Post # 8
@Miss Wallaroo: Hi twin! I can’t believe your stepsister said no for that! Did she tell you that?
We have a ton to do, but my amazing mom is coming in THREE weeks before the wedding to help, and she is recruiting all my aunts as my “wedding execution” army.So excited, as I love all the girls on that side of my family.
How about you? Feeling ready yet? Barely a month left!