Guest list – wwyd?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What what you do?
    Invite who YOU want : (26 votes)
    79 %
    Invite just the aunts and uncles : (4 votes)
    12 %
    Invite all the cousins : (3 votes)
    9 %
    Other (please comment below) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    2800 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    In most cases, you can’t invite anyone from a “tier” (ie a friend group, co-workers, aunts and uncles, ect) without inviting the rest.  This time, I think you are okay though.  The only cousins you are inviting is a BM and the sister of said BM.  I think those are reasonable expectations without inviting all the rest of the cousins.

    And as a cousin from a large family, I would really be thankful to not be invited to a DW.  I am not going to a cousin’s wedding two states away this year because of the money and because I have my wedding, my other cousin’s wedding and a friends wedding.  That is starting to get up their in price point. 

    Post # 4
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    Thats tricky but I would invite whoever your are close to. Its a DW so you’d be spending more time with your guests than just a quick stop at each table to say “Hi”. Invite who you want and be done! (but I’m not much for etiquitte, I’m a ‘be considerate, but have the day you want’ wedding thinker)

    Post # 5
    858 posts
    Busy bee

    dont feel obligated to invite people you dont want to. Of course its natural to feel weird to invite a cousin and not the parent, but end of the day, its your wedding. I wouldnt be offended if i wasnt invited to a wedding but one of my cousins was.

    Post # 6
    2915 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

    I didn’t invite cousins I hadn’t seen or talked to in years. In one family I have 4 cousins who are sisters, and I invited two of them. The other two didn’t care, as we aren’t close in the slightest. I know that is an etiquette faux pas, but meh.

    Post # 7
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I can’t imagine not inviting my cousins, even the ones I only see like every other year. I would invite them but if you’re not that close they’ll likely decline since it’s a DW. I mean if you have an insane amount like 60 cousins you could pick and choose but if there’s just like 20-30 I’d invite them. Combined FI and I have over 60 cousins and we’re inviting them all plus their children and every one of them is attending!


    Post # 8
    179 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    jlc3:  Since it’s a destination wedding you won’t have as many people attending as if it were local. Cuba, sounds fun!   I see it as you have two really good options; 

    1)  invite everyone with firm RSVP date, as not to hurt any feelings & it’s their choice not to come.

    2) send invite to those that you truely want there and send “we’re married” photo announcement to others – with or without casual reception at home.


    Post # 9
    12 posts

    @jlc3:  Im having a DW too, Im not close to my cousins or uncles and aunts. I invited my uncles and aunts (to keep my parents happy)  but not their children. We had about 70 we had to invite and have final numbers of 50 now which is exactly what i wanted. Only one aunt/unlce set from both of us is making the trip.

    Post # 10
    348 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Twin Oaks Garden House

    i was having the same problem… dad is 1 of 13 kids and well some im close to then others…. i ONLY invited close cousins and close aunt and uncles. ones that call, text, come around holidays, birthdays etc. this did include me not inviting some of the siblings of the cousins i am inviting. but it had to be that way. we want and can afford a smaller intimate and very well put together wedding then going for bigger and cheaper.

    Post # 12
    3077 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    I’m planning on only inviting one of my cousins on my dad’s side. MAYBE two but the 2nd one has managed to cause unnecessary drama when we live 3,000 miles apart and talk via text 3 times a year maximum. I don’t really want her there so she likely won’t be invited. I had at least 15-18 cousins on that side. I really don’t care if the others get their panties in a bunch lol

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