(Closed) Guest maybe getting a divorce

posted 9 years ago in Paper
  • poll: How should I address the invitation
    To only my friend : (2 votes)
    15 %
    To my friend + guest : (2 votes)
    15 %
    To my friend + her husband since I haven't actually heard from her that she's separated/divorced : (1 votes)
    8 %
    Send her an email asking her what to do : (8 votes)
    62 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    513 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I just went through this with my uncle. Basically I asked him prior to sending out the invites if he wanted me to address the invite to both him and his (then current wife), and he told me not to send it to her- though it was my decision if I wanted to invite her or not. (By the time I sent out the invites though- he had moved out and the divorce final)

    Are you close enough to your friend? What about her spouse? Can you hand deliver the invite to her? I am wondering because you could have a heart to heart with her and say, ‘I was going to mail this to your house but I wanted to take this as an opportunity to check in with you and see how things are going with you?’ and to gage her comfort level as far as her taking him to a function like your wedding if by then the court papers are finalized or not. 

    My uncle ended his marriage amicably. But now his ex-wife doesn’t want to be friends with him despite the fact that they ended things on as good of a note as you could.  But it is awkward, because she knew I was in the midst of wedding planning, and I didn’t want to not invite her simply because they were no longer married. But I allowed (or at least tried to let) my uncle make the call. 

    Try to talk to her and hand deliver the invite to her. I am sure she would appreciate the personalness in the gesture. & allow her to have a guest- in case she wants to take her sister/brother or another close friend. You can maybe write guest/SO- or is it too late to add that on your RSVP?

    Post # 5
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I would just talk to her about it– perhaps you could mention that you noticed it was only her name on the address registry, so you just wanted to touch base and see how you should word the invitation. 

    If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then I would just go ahead and invite her and her husband. Because if they haven’t announced the divorce, or separation, I think it might be very weird to get an invitation that says "Ms. Jane Johnson & Guest" if she is in fact married. Plus, you never know where they might be in their relationship, especially if you’ve only heard things through the grapevine. They might be trying to reconcile or work things out…

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I agree with those above.  I think it might be a better idea to call her instead of email.   Email seems so impersonal even if you haven’t spoken to her in a while.  You can use a, you know I’ve been so busy with the wedding that I haven’t had the chance to see how you’re doing type of phone call.

    The topic ‘Guest maybe getting a divorce’ is closed to new replies.

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