Guest not rsvping until today–july 6th wedding-rant

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@darkflame:  Oy that would annoy me! What is your catering deadline? I would just tell her “you have until x day to respond, we’ve already given you x days since the rsvp date, sorry, we have to because of the caterer” if she doesn’t answer in time, don’t count her in. I may sound a little extreme but you do not have time the week before your wedding for rsvp shenanigans of a friend who has dragged your FI around. This is not your closest aunt or something. 

Post # 4
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We had a few stragglers who told us the week before the wedding that they could make it after all.  I said something along the lines of ‘Oh, I’m so glad you’ll be able to make it!  We’ve already submitted our final numbers and seating chart, but you’re more than welcome to come- just know that we can’t guarantee a meal and you’ll have to sit at an extra table in the back.  If we have anyone not show up or leave early, you’re more than welcome to their meal.  We look forward to seeing you!’

Post # 5
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Just call her and say, I just wanted to confirm with you that since you didn’t get us an answer in time, we’re putting you down as a “no.” Have a great weekend!

And then hang up and do a little dance.

Post # 6
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@darkflame:  Yikes, IMO your FI should never have told her to let you know “closer to the date” without giving her a very specific date that you HAD to know by, if she still didn’t know you would probably have to put her down as a yes and hope for the best.

 

Every wedding has no shows.

Post # 7
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 I wouldnt have invited her at all knowing the history and her personality…BUT to move forward I would deffo send her an email saying that you have put her down as a no because catering already needed their final numbers last week etc

Post # 8
Member
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

My husband had a girl who he used to have a crush on (prior to our relationship) and still friends with who started drama 2 months beforethe wedding with my moh and then w week before the wedding, to my hubby she threw out the “well I am not gonna come then” card unfortunately for her he forwarded the email to me (just as an FYI) so I forwarded it back to her and told her I think that is for the best. Best decision I never made I have never heard from her again!

I second calling or messaging to tell her you have taken her lack of response as a no. Problem solved. F that b! 

 

Post # 9
Member
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I second (or third) PP who say to send her an email/leave a voicemail saying you’ve taken her lack of a timely response as a “No.” I don’t know the whole situation but I, too, think that her waiting until 4 days before the wedding to RSVP is a grab for attention.

Post # 10
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@CakeyP:  

@badabing88:  

Yup. This is the best thing to do. 

@darkflame:  I would say a call is better, since she might claim she never received your text/email…just sayin’. 

Post # 11
Member
3355 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

she is trying to get attention and make a big issue out of something that is not”

Really though? That’s what you think it is?

It’s more likely that it’s just that she said she’s coming because it’s free food (or some other stupid reason like that) but she can’t find a babysitter (which is a legit problem considering how much they cost these days) so she said yes but it was really a maybe.

I don’t think people like that are attention-seeking. people like that are just flaky.

Post # 12
Member
8720 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I wouldnt have invited her. She sounds VERY annoying. BUT…I doubt she wants attention? From who? I guess it sounded like the bigger issue is her past with your FI.

Post # 13
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

@DaneLady:  +1

No yes by the deadline?   No food for you.  Problem solved,

Post # 16
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@DaneLady:  +1, that’s exactly what I would have said too. Good for you!

@darkflame:  Sorry you’re going through this. I’d be super annoyed. Well, I wouldn’t have invited this person to begin with. You said FI had a crush on her, kept the crush throughout his relationship with his ex, and then it just magically stopped when he started dating you? I get that he’s marrying you, but it does sound like he is being very accomodating to a very annoying person he “used to” like. I would not be pleased either :-

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