Post # 1
I had a guest rsvp yes for herself and another guest and she is telling people she is not sure she is really coming to the wedding. She is one of those people who likes to make things about her so she may just be doing this for attention. She said to me initially that if I did not seat her where she wanted she wasn’t attending. I told her that was too bad and that if she could not attend to indicate so on the rsvp card. She has since rsvp’d yes and is still telling people she might not be attending and if she does attend she is just coming for the food and to take a centerpiece (and see what it looks like) and then is leaving.
I assume all I can do is just wait and see? Can I say something like “I heard you may not be attending, we’d love to have you but if you cannot attend please let us know soon so we can inform our caterer?” Is that rude? We are on a pretty tight budget with this wedding and we really can’t afford to pay for food and drink for no shows.
Post # 3
@breadandbutterflies: Definitely ask her about it, esp. if you’re still at a point where you can change the head count for the caterer.
Post # 4
I’d ask, and say you heard rumors than she may not be coming and wanted to confirm with her since her response card did indicate that she would be there.
Post # 5
Sounds like she probably shouldn’t have been invited if she’s that type. Normally I’d never ask but if I’d heard that she was telling several people she may not come I’d call her on it.
Post # 6
I know this will be an unpopular response, but: I would take her and her guest out of the head count so as to not risk paying for no-shows. If they do come, adding two plates shouldn’t be a huge problem (and you may end up with other last-minute no-shows that they just end up replacing), but if you have more than a reasonable doubt that they might not come, I would lowball the headcount.
Post # 7
@Snow00774: She’s a coworker and I work in a very small office so it was an all or nothing invite type deal. She is telling the other coworkers she might no show.
Post # 8
I like the idea the PP said… just say something casual like “I heard you may not be able to make it…” and see where the conversation goes frm there.
Post # 9
@KCKnd2: Yah. I’d do that. Like WTF? She’s only coming to steal a centerpiece??
Post # 10
@KCKnd2: Agreed. Lowball the count. If there is a last minute add there is a last minute add and if she has an issue with that just tell her what you were told.
Post # 11
I would lessen your final headcount by one, that way you cover one out of her and her guest but are not out for 2 meals if they don’t show. Caterers typically make a certain percentage above your head count just incase, so 1 plate shouldn’t be an issue.