Post # 1
First of all, I will be having a very small backyard wedding. I’ve only prepared for a max of 25 guests, wedding party included. Because of size constraints, the only children that were invited are my two nieces, who are the flower girls, and the daughter of the officiant, who is like a little sister to me.
Imagine my surprise when I receive an RSVP from a guest that included herself and her husband (theirs were the only names on the invite) PLUS their four children (ages range from 5 to 17)!
I can’t just let them come, even though I’d like to. Yes, it would make things a lot easier, but I’ve already finalized the number of chairs and dishes and such… I wouldn’t have a place for them. Also, my FH and I wanted our wedding to only include the people closest to us. I’m not very close with my friend’s children, and my FH doesn’t know them at all. So it kind of goes against our whole “intimate and special” vibe.
So… how in the world do I tell my friend that her children can’t come? And in a way that doesn’t hurt her?
Post # 2
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
Just call her and say there was a misunderstanding and that you’re not having children at your wedding (aside from the 2 flower girls) and that you hope she can still make it.
Post # 3
Well since you invited your friend, and sounds like shes a close one, I would just call her up and be honest. Tell her that the only children that are coming are the two that are in your wedding. Good thing is that she has a 17yr old so that one can watch the others 🙂 Explain that the wedding is super small.
Post # 4
Just phone her and gently let her know that you received her rsvp, and that there must have been a misunderstanding – you are unable to accomodate extra guests. If she says they won’t be able to make it, tell her that they will be missed.
Post # 5
You’re friend = you’re the one who has to call and tell her that you are having a very small wedding and the invitation was just for her and her husband.
Post # 6
just tell them that unfortunately you cannot accomodate any extra guests and/or you are having an adults only reception, but you hope she and her husband will still attend.
we were extremely clear about who was invited to our wedding and we still had people try to bring extra guests. so frustrating!
Post # 7
“I’m so sorry, there must have been a misunderstanding! The invitation was for you and John. I hope you can still come.”
Post # 8
MrsVaccaro: agree with pp’s… “There may have been a misunderstanding, we cannot accommodate extra guests but would love to see you there”
ugh, the nerve of people.
Post # 9
This shouldn’t even be that uncomfortable. It’s all in how you phrase it. Don’t be accusatory (e.g., “You should have seen that the invitation was only addressed to you and your husband!), but rather be kind and sympathetic (e.g., I’m so sorry, but because we are having a small backyard wedding, we’ll only have room for you and Mark to be there. I really hope you can find a sitter and will still be able to attend.).