Guest RSVPing extra person help!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we let him bring her?
    He'll no! She wasn't invited, period. : (3 votes)
    13 %
    No, not fair to all others who didn't get plus one : (15 votes)
    65 %
    Yes, if they are currently dating, even if new : (2 votes)
    9 %
    Yes, regardless if they are dating : (3 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1377 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    For one, I think it’s very rude as a guest to assume you can bring someone. If there is no plus one on the invite, you do not get to decide you have a plus one. I would agree also that since no one gets a plus one except those in previously established relationships, it would not be fair for your other single friends. I’m of the opinion he should have called to ask. I’m also of the opinion that your or FI should directly call him ASAP and find out what the deal is with the girl diplomatically and then gently let him know that he wasn’t actually given a +1. 

    Honestly – once you let one in, ya gotta let them all in. Otherwise there’s too much potential for a huge amount of hurt feelings. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    I agree this was rude of him to assume his +1.  It’s not fair, but I think you should let this go…especially if you like this friend otherwise.  It’s not worth your time and effort of getting upset over it.  At my brother’s wedding people brought their kids even when they were told to their face not to bring them.  I don’t care whose wedding it is, I think there will always be that person or a few who either don’t show when they rsvped and those who bring extras.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    2891 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    MsYankee: I’d lean towards no for both actually. I attended a 1st cousin’s wedding without FI because they didn’t know we were together when they made their guest list, venue was at capacity, and I was told it was friends and family only – no plus ones or SO’s. 

    One of my other cousins attended with her boyfriend. I was not impressed.

    Post # 6
    Member
    560 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    We sort of did plus ones the way you did–established relationships get dates, singles didn’t. Our wedding was local and lots of our friends are single and hang out as a group all the time. No one complained. 

    In my opinion, girlfriend you know gets invited (since you would have invited her had you known), new lady of the month does not. 

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    That’s tricky… yes, it’s rude of them to add extra people, BUT I’m of the opinion that they should have been allowed +1s in the first place (for every adult). 

    In terms of fairness for the other guests who didn’t get +1s though, it should be an all or nothing rule. 

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