Guest says they will be late…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Guest wants to show up late. What would you say/do?
    Say ok, see you at the reception : (107 votes)
    87 %
    Say sorry, be on time or don't come : (12 votes)
    10 %
    other: please explain : (4 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8903 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    They want to come but can’t make the start time… are you going to ban them from your event because of that?  I assume you invited them because you’d like to have them there to celebrate with you, right?  Just tell them to come whenever they can. 

    Is the etiquette of the start time the hill you choose to die on?  I wouldn’t, personally.  I think seeing dear friends for some of the time is better than not at all…

    Post # 4
    Member
    7193 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    It depends on the reason why they’re late. And the fact they haven’t offered a reason is rude in itself. (They should be saying something like “Sorry we’ll be late but there is a compulsory exam which ends at 2pm”).

    So yeah it’s rude, but what can you do? See them at the reception.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1817 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I think they could have RSVPed on time and called you/ your fiance to let you know they’d be late instead of texted, but oh well.

    I’d still let them show up whenever they can.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7193 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Miss.GrahamCracker:  Yes you’re right; FI should call/text back and ask them when they are arriving.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8903 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    @Miss.GrahamCracker:  Yeah I hear ya.  If you want them there, figure that stuff out.  (Probably more than a text convo.)  If you feel more like “on-time-or-never”, say so….

    Post # 12
    Member
    2825 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @Miss.GrahamCracker:  I think it’s fair to ask them what time they think they’ll be arriving. And mention that you’re asking because you’re trying to figure out if they’ll be showing up for the reception alone (and require dinner) or if they’re just coming for dancing. I don’t like people skipping ceremonies either, but what can you do? I’d rather them skip it entirely than to walk in in the middle of the vows. Honestly even if they show up halfway through dinner, I’d be surprised if anyone other than those at their table even noticed. You certainly will be too busy to care.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1817 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @Miss.GrahamCracker:  Wow, if she had her daughter’s wedding recently, she should definitely know better!

    I just wanted to add that I don’t think it would be too disruptive to have them quietly walk in and take their seats, whether during the ceremony or the reception. Is there someone you can tell at the venue that you’ll be having a couple of guests arrive late? Then that person can quietly seat them in the back if they arrive during the ceremony? Also, I think people will be milling around all night during the reception (getting drinks, going to the bathroom, etc), even during speeches and dinner service, so I don’t see two late arrivals being too disruptive during the reception either. Also, if their meals are served before they arrive, oh well– they can eat cold food.

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    9892 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    if they want to show up after dinner I wouldn’t worry about it.  Just don’t have chairs or a table for them – who cares – BUT it is your wedding and if you don’t want to deal with that at all then it’s totally your call

    Post # 16
    Member
    2132 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    I would find out how late they’re going to be, and then tell them when to come so they’re not interrupting anything

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