(Closed) Guest who RSVP then don’t show up . . .

posted 10 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I’d be pretty angry if someone RSVP’d then didn’t show. That’s a lot of money to spend!

Post # 4
Member
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Wow!  Don’t people know that each guest costs the wedding couple money??  That is the whole point of an RSVP!  Maybe someone should drop the hint to your coworkers about how weddings work.  I would be angry, and I’m pretty sure I would have to say something eventually.  I would not invite them, as they obviously do not understand etiquitte or have any respect for others.

Post # 5
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I would not invite them and then if asked, I would be tempted to make a rather snide comment about how you didn’t want to put them out by asking them to drive anywhere. But that is probably not the best idea…

Post # 6
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

wow thats pretty terrible. i mean, i can understand if something comes up and you really can’t show up. like you’re sick or something bad happens. but to bluntly say that she didn’t go because it was too long of a drive and purposely went to another party is awful. i as well, probably would not want to invite someone like that. and if you felt obligated to invite them, i would ask them nicely but specifically if they RSVP yes, “heey, i saw that you RSVPed..just wanted to verbally confirm with you too! *big happy smile* so, do you REALLY think you’re going to come for sure? because if you don’t think you can, i totally understand since *its a far drive or whatever excuse you can think of* and i wouldn’t be offended…but i just need to know for sure since i’m going to confirm with my vendor at the end of this week…thaaaanks.” i don’t know…something to that effect…

Post # 7
Member
57 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

Ugh…she sounds awful. Why would you want someone like that at your wedding? I can’t believe she blatantly told you why she ditched the other wedding. That is right up there with the "I just didn’t feel like it excuse." If she treats wedding invitations so cavalierly, I would not want her to come to my wedding and waste my time and money.

Post # 8
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I agree, either don’t send them an invite, or make sure you verberlly confirm.  I can’t believe they had the nerve to not even send an envelope w/ a cash gift after not showing up!

 BTW, for any guest that do not show up, my venue gives us credits for their restaurant for any meal on the menu.  I actually hope a couple people don’t show up, so we can go on our aniverssery and enjoy a seemingly "free" meal.  (my parents are paying for the reception so it really would be a free meal!!!

Post # 9
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008
Post # 10
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

They say only 80% of the RSVP’s will show up… according to my research.  So you should probably factor in some no shows when you put in your final numbers.  I’m not saying I agree with the wedding no show but you will likely have around 20%.  (based on extended guest lists – it would be much lower of course for a small wedding with only immediate family and close friends)

Post # 11
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Uhm, I really think it’s 80% of those you invite will RSVP with a yes.  I expect at least 95% of those who RSVP’d to show up.

Post # 12
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Just to put it perspective, look at my wedding shower. We invited 60, 40 RSVP’d with a yes, and one didn’t show.

Candi

Post # 13
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

This co-worker sounds pretty young and immature, and I have to admit, when I was a single girl in my early 20’s, I had no idea how much went into planning a wedding and often RSVP’d late or not at all.  I had a lot more appreciation once I was planning my own wedding, and realized how important it is to RSVP and show up if you do!

We invite people out of obligation (like co-workers), and this is a clear indication that she treated it as an obligatory invite where she didn’t really have to attend.

Absolutely she was wrong and rude to RSVP, then not show.  That should give you a big red flashing light to not feel the need to invite her, especially if she’s not that close to you. 

She might be offended by not receiving an invite, which will cause some awkwardness at work, but there would be awkardness anyway if she pulled the same no-show stunt with you.  At least if you don’t invite her, you won’t be out the money or the time at the reception talking to her when you could be talking to someone you really care about. 

Post # 14
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

don’t invite them period. that’s just plain rude.

Post # 15
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2007

I think it all depends on where you live…we had a rather big wedding (600 invited) and 50% RSVP’d yes.  Probably 90% of them showed up, but several of the people who RSVP’d ‘no’ showed up too – so our numbers were just about perfect.

 Out here (rural north west) – people think of the RSVP as an intention, but that doesn’t help the bride out at all!

Post # 16
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2006

i had about 10 guests who RSVP’ed and didn’t show up.  i was upset because 10 guests is a lot of money down the drain, but i also understood that the wedding culture that most of those people are used to is a lot more casual…they’re used to seating on a first-come basis with no table cards and buffet style dinner, so you don’t need to plan for an exact # of guests.  my wedding, however, was sit down dinner with waited tables.  i’m guessing your coworker is inexperienced and totally unaware that weddings are not like other parties.  i wouldn’t cross her off the guest list just for poor RSVP etiquette, but give her the benefit of the doubt and drop strong hints at work to find out if her RSVP is bogus.  if you’d rather not invite her for other reasons, then don’t.

The topic ‘Guest who RSVP then don’t show up . . .’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors