Post # 1
Disclaimer: this is totally a self pity post, and I realize I am very lucky for a lot of things.
I didn’t anticipate how personally I would take it when close to 50% of our guest list declined to attend our semi-destination wedding, particularly some who I feel are close friends. We sent save the dates, so it’s hard to stomach reasons like “I have to look at houses that weekend.” Um. How about looking for a house the weekend before or after?
I failed to realize, I guess, just how inconvenient peoeple would find the location, or the number of friends who would be in transition after grad school. That’s totally my fault and I get it. Still, I can’t help but be super bummed about it. It’s hard to remind myself that there are lots of reasons and not just feel like we don’t have any friends.
I can tell it makes my fi super sad too – he’s been down and grumpy all day (the day after the RSVP deadline so we had to start contacting everyone who hadn’t yet responded). I know he wishes we had either timed it better or chosen a better location or both and I hate that we’re both already regretting the weekend in some way.
Ugh. Thanks for listening, bees. This is really just a vent – like I said, I’m lucky in many ways and am super excited to be married, but sometimes it’s hard not to let this superficial stuff bring you down.
Post # 3
Aw, that sucks! I’d be upset too if I were you, especially if you’re getting somewhat flimsy excuses. But I don’t think you and your FI should play the “what if we picked a different date/venue/etc” game because there’s really no way of predicting guest responses. Just try and focus on the good – you’ll still be having the wedding you want and you’ll be able to celebrate with friends and family!
Post # 4
@RobinBananas: Sorry, OP! That’s rough, I’d be bummed too–especially the “we have to look at houses that weekend,” UGH! =(
I hope this post was cathartic for you–posting on here always help me feel better. And remember – there will still be people there who love and support you, and would drop anything to be celebrate with you on that day. Anyone who wouldn’t do that, IMO, isn’t worth being upset over. It’s just something to take note of the next time they need you to be there for them…!
Post # 5
@RobinBananas: I feel for you because I’d feel sad about it too:( however having a destination wedding is always going to be risky. I’m sure most people really do want to come but these weddings can be really expensive and that’s the only reason why I wouldn’t be able to attend them!
Post # 6
D’aww! You will be able to spend more time with those who are there, which is great. But I do understand being hurt. Don’t play the what-if game, just enjoy your beautiful intimate wedding 🙂
Post # 7
awww. this is my biggest fear, we’re having a semi-destination as well and I’m terrified that everyone is going to say they can’t come. I’m sure you will still have an amazing day 🙂 hopefully you can celebrate with the other friends at a later date
Post # 8
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@RobinBananas: I don’t think you would be as upset if people were not providing some really sill reasons. I don’t think anyone should provide a reason if they are just choosing to not attend for something like house hunting. Ugh. The people who really want to be there will be there, so it will be great I’m sure!
Post # 9
I’m sorry that so many of your friends have indicated that they cannot attend. However, I agree with @ImmaBee: that you really can’t second guess yourself about the date and location at this point and with @bridinmt: that an unexpected benefit of this situation is that you’ll have more time to interact with the guests who are there.
As for the excuses you’ve been receiving, I would chalk that up to the fact that some guests feel obligated to provide a reason when they decline, and some hosts try to solicit one. However, you should not ask for a reason. It’s never wrong for a guest to decline an invitation politely and without providing a reason.
I hope you have a wonderful wedding in spite of this situation!