(Closed) Guestlist woes

posted 6 years ago in August 2013
Post # 3
Member
12830 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s really hard to be selective with guest lists!  Good luck figuring it out!

Post # 4
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think guestlist is one of the biggest stresses in the planning process.  Good lucj!

Post # 5
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sherryberry:  I am putting together our joint guest lists today and it is not looking pretty either. My FI seems to think most of them won’t come but “they need to be invited” – I am not so sure they won’t attend.

Post # 6
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So stressful!

My FI didn’t want to say no to anyone either. It was tough.
I ended up just giving in since we found a venue that can accomodate everyone.

You need to remind your FI that people love weddings. More will say yes than he thinks. Ask him to really imagine what would happen if 90 people said yes. What would he do? Don’t let him get out of it by saying “oh, but they won’t all say yes”

Post # 7
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m just 17 days away from my wedding.  We sent out 107 invitations, and we are only expecting 90 people to show up.  

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

we did a rough guest list before starting the planning, had to know how big of a space we needed. We used that rough guest list that already included all the had to be invited and would like to invites, went over it w few times, then did a count. FI’s list was 74 and mine was just under 50, so we decided to plan for 125 to be safe. The numbers may yet change to have less guests, but at the moment we are planning for 125.

Post # 9
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

We did a rough guest list and it was slightly over where we wanted to be. I told FI that we’re going to have to sit down and cut some people because we cannot afford to have everyone come. Unfortunately, it’s going to have to be some of his friends. He already has a ton of family and friends coming, and I have less family and almost 0 friends (all of my close friends are in the wp), so I don’t really want to cut my other friends just so that all of his friends he’s ever spoken to can come. I know that sounds selfish, but he wants to invite people that he hasn’t seen or spoken to in years!

Post # 10
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

We’ve also got a limit (of 130, though) and have been going over… I’m 95% sure we’re going to have a child-free wedding now just so we can accomodate more family friends and stuff!!  I’ve been a little worried about it but feeling better ever since we made an alternate guestlist kid-free… and it’s horrible but I’m betting a few cousins won’t come because their kids aren’t invited so there is even less chance of going over the limit… !!

Don’t forget to include your vendors!!  Some (photographer, dj, videographer) may have it in their contract that you need to feed them!

Post # 11
Member
1116 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Guest list is def the worst aspect of planning!  It’s so hard especially when you have a numbers restriction.  Good luck, you aren’t alone!

Post # 12
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

What a perfect time for this topic. We put together a list and it was pretty much right where we wanted to be however FI dad keeps wanting to include more. He has begun a B list but keeps checking to see if there is room for a few more friends. He already has 23 coming! It just so difficult, makes me want to say forget it and just have a small intimate wedding even though neither of us originally wanted that.

 

@elysion: I think having no kids is a good idea especially if it brings your numbers down. We aren’t inviting any either and we are very happy with that decision. And your cousins with kids might surprise you and will probably enjoy themselves much more without having to watch their children.

Post # 13
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

@VermontBride13:  awesome, glad to hear another August 2013-er doing no kids!!

Post # 14
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Our guest list is at 210 right now 🙁 and I know there are people not on the list but I am afraid to add anyone else…

Our venue has a MAX of 220 so I would be ok but my budget is hoping for only 175!

Post # 16
Member
707 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@elysion:  We’re also not inviting kids. My sister has 3 kids and I’m pretty sure they’re going to be in the wedding, but I also think she may get a sitter for the reception.

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