(Closed) Guestlisting SUCKS (semi-rant that wound up being long…sorry!)

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No need to invite the partners.  You have no obligation to do so if you don’t want to.  And it can get awkward with inviting work people (particularly superiors rather than colleagues).  Also, maybe not a consideration in your situation, but if you just invite one close work person, people aren’t offend, but when you invite 10 people, then people wonder why they were excluded.

I’d suggest inviting the uncles/aunts and not the cousin.  It’s the cousins you have the issue with right?  It makes an easy line to draw while keeping the numbers down a little.  We opted to not invite cousins on DH’s side because there are so. freaking. many. of them and they’re all married to boot.  We did invite aunts/uncles.

Post # 4
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Re work – I agree that inviting just a few people is okay (and maybe preferable).  I work at a law firm as well and only invited 2 colleagues that I regularly socialize with outside the office.  I purposely didn’t invite any partners to avoid having to make any decisions about who to invite and who to leave out. 

kay01 is right that it can get sticky.  Long before I joined the firm, one of the equity partners got married while he was still an associate.  His invitations got sort of political and there were some hard feelings.  The fact that I was still hearing stories about it years later made me think twice about inviting anyone beyond my inner circle.  Obviously it worked out for him career-wise, but I just didn’t want to deal with any unnecessary drama, especially at work.

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