Post # 1
I’ll try to make this short. We are extremely tight on space, and the budget is adding up to be so much larger than we were initially planning. I can only seat 150 people, and we’ve invited around 185. I’m praying that 35 won’t make it. We’ve already had around 15 declines, and the RSVP date is a few weeks away. My Fi’s cousins from Georgia are coming to Wisconsin for our wedding. There’s 3 of them and 2 of them have husbands that won’t be attending, or traveling to our wedding.
The cousins asked if they can bring their Dad instead, who lives in Wisconsin an hour away from where our wedding will be. The invites were addressed to the cousins and their husbands, not “and guest” So my question is:
Should we let them bring their dad as a replacement guest? This is still cutting down on one person, since their husbands won’t be coming…but this Dad of their isn’t a family member, or friend. He’s not related to my Fi at all, we would not have invited him if they hadn’t asked. My Fi has met him maybe once or twice. I really wanted a small wedding with only close friends and family. It’s not really turning out that way with my Fi having a really huge family and my parents having a lot of close friends.
I say,No way, it’s our wedding and we shouldn’t have to extend the invite to the dad. They can visit with him as much as they like except for the 5 hours of our wedding.
Fi says that he doesn’t care and he wants to be inclusive and they’re still cutting the list down one person…
but I say that the guest list and numbers game is none of their business, and we did the polite thing by extending invitations to their husbands and if they can’t come, oh well. I wouldn’t ask to bring some rando to a dinner party if my fi couldn’t make it, I would just go alone. Why are weddings any different? It’s supposed to be about us.
Post # 3
I think your reasoning is completely fair. If you had loads of cash spare then it might not matter so much, but if you’re trying to keep numbers down then it makes sense to not invite the father.
Post # 4
I would respond that your invitations are only for those listed and are not transferrable.
Post # 5
For my own wedding, I have plenty of seats and I’ve told people that they are welcome to bring a buddy if their SO can’t make it. However, if I had limited seating, I would absolutely not be inviting whoever the guests want to invite along to my wedding. It’s a wedding, not a happy hour. Spouses/SOs are social units, dads and BFFs are not.
Post # 6
I would apologize and say that invitations are only extended to those actually named on te invitation.
Post # 7
You don’t have to, but I probably would. They are all travelling from Georgia and I think it would be a very nice gesture/thank you for attending if you let them bring their dad. They might not have much time to visit with him otherwise.
Post # 8
@abbybee: I wouldn’t allow it. Your wedding is not extra time for them to be able to visit with their dad, it’s time for them to celebrate your marriage. If they want to extend their visit time with their dad they can do it on their own time. If you already are over budget and have already cut people who you would have probably invited had it not been for budgetspace issues than that makes this even more of an easy answer in my head. I would simply say that we have a very strict guest list so only guests we specifically invited are going to be able to attend.
Post # 9
@vorpalette: “I would respond that your invitations are only for those listed and are not transferrable.”
That right there! ^^^ Just like plane tickets …
And let them know you have a few close friends who initially were cut due to venue space limitations, and you had planned to extend the invititation to them first in the event of any declines.
Post # 10
@abbybee: What did you end up doing?