- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Oh, I had a lot of this. I put a note on the website and just made sure I responded individually to everyone who asked with a clear, detailed description. Well, "cocktail affair" worked quite well!
I would say I’ve been getting lots of questions concerning attire - here are some of the answers to questions we’ve gotten.
then just put what ever you want no one will really no if anyone asked them or not!
I definitely think you should put something on the website. Maybe:
Wedding attire: Cocktail attire is requested. Ladies may want to bring a light sweater or wrap, as it might get chilly in the evening.
@magilnyc: I hate mandating a dress code, but I think I sort of have to. I don't understand why people think this is a really casual thing, it's a wedding!!!!! It's not in my backyard, it's a a beautiful venue... Sigh. Alright. Vent done. Cocktail attire note being added this morning.
I would put up a note on the website...On one weding website the bride actually had picture examples of what to weat and what not to wear it was cute and informative at the same time. She was having a beach wedding.
I'm having a similar issue! The ceremony is outside so my friend thought it was more casual due to the fact the ceremony is outside (?). Its a wedding, I'll be wearing a gown, my FH is wearing a tuxedo, cocktail attire please:-)
@Adnama54: I know!!! My cousin asked last weekend if he could wear shorts. Ummm no. It's a wedding. I'm wearing a big dress, we're having fancy food. I didn't send you an invite on a cocktail napkin or via FB, it showed up all pretty in your mailbox, that means you show up all pretty to my event! Jeez louise people. I put a note on my website requesting cocktail attire. Sigh.
Thanks for the help Bees! Hopefully most people will take the hint...
I'm with you on this one! I don't know why people think that an outdoor wedding = casual. I've been to really gorgeous outdoor weddings that outdid some indoor weddings I've been to! I think putting something on your website is a good idea, but my rule of thumb is always to wear a dress to a wedding, and my husband will never wear anything less than a shirt and tie at least!
@2PeasinaPod: My cousin's wife was mortified. At least she "got it". She'll make sure he shows up in a suit thank goodness!!!
@bakerella: well said (about the pretty invitation!) haha.
We will be dining in a wonderful room with chivalry chairs and fine China...dress appropriately!
I put a note on our website (our venue requires men to wear jackets and ties and I don't want anyone to be turned away), which I think is an approrpiate way of handling it. I can't believe people think shorts are okay!!
Yikes! Sounds like your outdoor reception will be gorgeous and I hope people dress accordingly!
@hergreenapples: My brother in law wanted to wear shorts!!!!! When my sister and I were mortified (I think he was just trying to goad us truth be told), he then asked about wearing running shoes. Ummm no. Seriously, how uncomfortable are suits if I'm getting men asking all these questions?! Do they have spikes on the inside?! Could you imagine if they had to wear bras, thongs, and heels all day, we'd never hear the end of it!!!!
@bakerella: Seriously! I have really never understood the "uncomfortable" argument when it comes to clothes. So long as they aren't too small, they shouldn't be uncomfortable! And even if they are: IT'S A WEDDING!!
I got a lot of attire questions from guests. I think it's normal and it didn't bother me. We put 'cocktail attire' on our website, but when people asked I told them ladies in cocktail dresses and gentlemen in a suit or summer suit is fine. I stressed that it was not black tie.
People get confused if you aren't totally specific, so I would definitely clairfy on your website and laugh in response to people who ask you about shorts. Tell them they will feel 'out of place' if they show up so casual as your wedding is fancy and cocktail attire is the dress code.
I got a lot of attire questions from guests. I think it's normal and it didn't bother me. We put 'cocktail attire' on our website, but when people asked I told them ladies in cocktail dresses and gentlemen in a suit or summer suit is fine. I stressed that it was not black tie.
People get confused if you aren't totally specific, so I would definitely clairfy on your website and laugh in response to people who ask you about shorts. Tell them they will feel 'out of place' if they show up so casual as your wedding is fancy and cocktail attire is the dress code.
Website. Any time anyone has a question I give them a short answer and say, "You can check our website out for more details! It's www.website.com." I mean, that's why it's there right? Our dress code is under the "events" page, we've got several wedding events happening the week of, but for the actual ceremony and reception section I wrote "The dress code is semi-casual. No jeans or t-shirts please, but suits and gowns aren't necessary!" or something to that effect.
I think the website is a great place to include dress code and it should not be offensive, however, my guests seem to check the website once when RSVPing and not more so you may need to pass the dres code by word of mouth as well.
As far as shorts, I will say my parents attended a wedding last summer and the groom, a friend of my dad's, wore shorts. My dad is an avid shorts wearer but knows enough to put on long pants and a tie for a wedding. Apparently he had joked with his friend that he wanted to come to the July wedding in shorts and his friend told him that was totally fine. In fact, he told him not to wear pants because he didn't want to be upstaged. The reception was on the deck of a semi-formal restaurant overlooking the ocean so you never know what people are thinking!
the reason this confuses me so much is i kind of think the invitation sets the tone for the wedding in a lot of ways, specifically in terms of formality. bakerella had very intricate, high quality invitations which i feel should clear up any questions as to the issue of formality. silly people.
I can actually understand the confusion over the outside part- I'm going to a wedding on Friday, and the bride encouraged flip flops with summer dresses, so...
We were married at the Chicago Botanic Garden where a majority of weddings are black tie. Well a lot of our guests thought we were slumming it in the forest preserve or something judging from the way they dressed. We didn't want to impose black tie for a number of reasons: 1) too hot 2) too expensive 3) the groom/GMs were in tuxes. I wore a designer gown and my bridesmaids wore formal black strapless tea-length gowns. I wish I had made it clear not to dress so casually. One girl even showed up in a t-shirt & jeans -I shit you not. I think the you need to wear a dress shirt and slacks preferably with a tie if you're a guy (khakis and a golf shirt aren't cutting it), and if you're a woman, an LBD or summer dress (not cotton) works. I mean really folks, what are we saving the good stuff for??? It's a wedding, dress like it! You saw the invite -it was formal, right?
i got that alot but more of people asking what color to wear.. like im worried about what im wearing.. just dont wear white and we will be fine LOL
I've had a few people ask too. I just say, "Not jeans, please!"
I recently went to a wedding for someone in FI's family. The wedding was held at a super swanky place down town. The ceremony started at 6. All this information to me meant I should wear a really nice dress and FI should wear a suit (instead of just a jacket and tie). Would you believe people came in jeans and cowboy boots, I saw one lady in a short (very short) denim skirt and flip flops. THere were probably 25-50 of the 150 guests that were propperly dressed. As I surveyed the room I started to freak out, because most of the underdressed folks are on our guest list. But later in the night I realized, I'm likly not going to notice what anyone is wearing. I totally understand the issue of respect for the ceremony and the couple, but at the end of the day I doubt I'll be able to tell you if anyone came in jeans.
i'd be pretty upset if people showed up in jeans or shorts of flip flops. like eileen marie said, it's a wedding, you wear special occasion clothes, for crying out loud. don't people know how to dress themselves lol?
You may not notice the day of how people are dressed but you will notice when looking at your wedding photos. My friend and I joked, imagine a photo of you and your new husband, having your first dance and a man in the background with flip flops, shorts and a Hawaiian shirt...sure that’s exaggerated but you know what I mean.
@Ms. Meowerson: Oh why thank you! You're right though, people keep commenting that our invitations were "fancy" but now they're asking what to wear?! Silly silly people.
Does anyone else remember when people used to wear their nicest clothes to get on an airplane?! I remember my mom would NEVER set foot on a plane without wearing a dress, stockings, and heels. My sister and I had to dress up, my dad would wear a suit. Now if we go to see live theatre in the city I'm always one of the few people who's not wearing jeans. Why is flip flops and jeans the new "go anywhere" dress code?! It's so not appropriate for every situation!
We had a casual outdoor wedding and I did include a section on our website about it. I suggested button downs and khakis or summer suits for men and that's what everyone wore. I don't feel ties are necessary at an outdoor wedding (I would say our male guests seemed to be 50/50 on the ties), so I don't think that's a clear assumption*
@Eileen Marie: I've worn cotton dresses to other people's weddings and I would say 95% of female guests wore cotton dresses to ours. I mean, it was hot! I guess silk would be an alternative, but I can't imagine wearing polyester or a heavy satin to our wedding!
*I did have one guest ask if he could wear sneakers and I was temporarily taken aback, but my husband pointed out that he probably meant hipster Converse and not gigantic running shoes, as I was imagining. And I think Converse would have been great! Or other hipster sneakers! Or even giant running shoes, if that's what he really wanted a la Seinfeld. But generally my attitude was that as long as you were clothed and comfortable, I didn't really care.
One more commment--despite my live and let live attitude, I did go to a wedding once where someone wore SWEATPANTS. (This was in the winter.) I was like, really? Sweats? At a wedding? Now that's crazy.
We had an ourdoor wedding and got the same thing. When did wearing shorts to a wedding EVER become ok?? It actually hurt my feelings at first, like people weren't taking our wedding seriously or thought we were just tossing some picnic together; then it got really frustrating as more and more people asked. I think as soon as you change things up from what's traditionally done (ie: NOT in a banquet hall) people freak out and think ALL the rules have changed. We had the below on our website, but it still didn't help.
Attire is Semi-Formal Daytime. Please keep in mind the ceremony and cocktail hour will be outdoors with the reception to be held in an open-air barn (read: no AC!). Feel free to leave the opera gloves and wool suits at home.
Please, no shorts/jeans. Or Ed Hardy tshirts.
We ended up responding directly to each inquiry with "collar mandatory, jacket optional. No jeans, no shorts" We ended up with a LOT of khaki/cargo pants and polos which kinda pissed me off. It's not a Labor Day picnic! I hope once they got there and saw the string quartet, tux-clad butlered catering staff and ALL the trouble we went through they felt silly and out of place.
If it makes you feel any better atleast they're asking. Hubby's Aunt showed up in Camo to our wedding... Quite classy lol
@LpCutiPie: Camo. Wow. Maybe she should get together with sweatpants guy ;) Dear god now I'm scared of what to expect! LOL!
actually, and I think this makes it a little crazier, it was a Sweatpant Lady. (I don't know...I guess I think men sometimes have crazy ideas for clothing, but that a female guest wore sweatpants struck me as even stranger.)
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ticatica | 13 |
| MrsOliveBird | 11 |
| aussiebee | 10 |
| fivemonthsnotice | 10 |
| janetsnakehole | 8 |
| Scottish_lassie | 7 |
| GelaMac | 6 |
| j_jaye | 5 |
| MrsMSmith | 5 |
| Rivendeler | 5 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| simpleandchic | 2 |
| MrsOliveBird | 1 |
 Myrnac13 |
1 |
Beekeeper
We're having an outdoor tented wedding, but it's not a backyard bbq to say the least. We wrote "Outdoor reception to follow immediately" on our invites so that we could give the ladies a heads up that they might need to bring a pashmina or jacket for later in the evening. However, I think this is totally backfiring on me because I've had at least two or three people ask what they should wear, and apparently a bunch of guests have also asked my sister/MOH! They all think it's some sort of casual show up in shorts type of affair. ACK!!!!!! What the heck do I do?! I don't want people to show up in freaking flip flops and shorts to my wedding!!! Since when is it okay to not wear a suit or cute dress to a wedding?!
I'm thinking about putting a note on our website since we've had a handful of people ask, but I'm not sure how to phrase it... Thoughts?