Guests can take up to one year to buy a gift?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Leave it until the store takes it down. Most people won’t actually take a year to buy a gift though. If they ask just tell them.

Post # 4
Member
511 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I’ve heard of it for sure. But I thought it was a dying custom.

Post # 5
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes, that’s the etiquette guideline and not a dying custom, but very, very few people will actually wait that long.

I’d just leave the registry up until store or website requires you to remove it, so that if people do ask, you can easily refer them to the registry.

Just be sure not to go by the myth that you have a year to write thank-you notes, though. The longest generally recommended is 3 months, but it’s much better to get them out within 8 weeks of receiving the gift.

Post # 6
Member
490 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

That is what I have heard in the past as well.

Post # 7
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I’ve heard that, but who actually does that? Everyone I know either gives a card or brings a gift to the wedding, not later.

Post # 8
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

That sounds crazy. Could someone supply and quote an authoritative reference for this?

Not “I heard”, not a bulletin board posting, but an authority. Because it sounds like made up etiquette to me, or something extremely regional.

Emily Post’s 1922 book talks about gifts usually being before the wedding: “If because of illness or absence, a present is not sent until after the wedding, a short note should accompany it, giving the reason for the delay“. http://www.bartleby.com/95/21.html 

Post # 9
Member
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Can’t quote a source but I have heard it more than once.  You’re also considered a bride for the entire year up until your first anniversary.

Post # 10
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@asianbarbie:  I don’t have a source, but I have heard that on many occassions. I think it’s super weird, personally, and would never wait that long myself. As for the registry- yeah, keep it up until the store takes it down. Unless they give you a discount when you “close it out” like at Babies R Us… then wait maybe 3 months, buy whatever you wanted to buy at the discount and close it. 

Post # 11
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@asianbarbie:  I always thought this was weird and never heard of it before this site too! I feel like anytime past maybe a month is just super awkward. If a guest cant afford a gift at the time of the wedding I would hate to think they are scrapping and saving and worrying for a year about getting one ya know! I would tell them no worries too but it sounds like thats not what they wantto hear! 

Post # 12
Member
6964 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@paula1248:  Emily Post begs to differ on the “one year rumor”. She says 3 months, which feels more correct (see my previous comment, posted before I read Emily’s take). Peggy echos the 3 month guideline. 

Other wedding related (though not necesarrily etiquette related) sites reference the one year rule (The Knot, for instance), but point out that it’s an old one and with the dawn of internet shopping it doesn’t make sense anymore. 

The point, though, is that this isn’t some weird Weddingbee rumor… it is something a much broader audience have heard and believe to be true.

Post # 13
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

That seems like something from another era, before fast shipping, Amazon, online registries, etc.  Sometimes etiquette rules need an upgrade for modern times.  Personally, I would think it’s weird to receive a gift more than a month after the wedding and I always make sure to either buy and ship a gift before the wedding or bring the gift/card to the wedding.

Post # 15
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’ve heard that was the old rule. New one is 3 months.

Post # 16
Member
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I will gladly accept a wedding gift a year or even 2 years after the wedding 😉

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