(Closed) Guests don’t have enough money to come

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

That’s frustrating, do you know what cost they’re most stressed about – gas, food, clothes, gift, hotel? 

I’d stress that you don’t need a gift or buy any fancy clothes.  We had our wedding near you and found a hotel about $65/night that could have fit a family of 5, it wasn’t a POS or motel either.  Food could get expensive with that many people but there are ways to help out there.  And then gas is unavoidable.  But maybe if FI parents just paid for gas or hotel they could swing it. 

Post # 4
Member
2634 posts
Sugar bee

My sisters (who live in CO) probably aren’t coming to my wedding.  There really isn’t anything that you CAN do (besides ponying up the money which isn’t fair to you or the rest of your guests).  I’ve just accepted that they are more than likely NOT going to be there.

What upsets me the most is that we’ve had our date nailed down for WELL over a year and a half now. 

Such is life I suppose.

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think a lot of people just don’t realize the cost associated with things until they actually start to finalize plans, add to that fact most people aren’t crazy planners. Case in point FH and I planned on going to a wedding of a friend well in advance and we still ALMOST had to miss it because of costs. We just didn’t think it would be as expensive as it was. It was only out of luck that a friend offered us a place to stay and I won a gas gift card that we got to go.

Post # 7
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

It really does sound like you’ve done all you can in this situation. I wholly agree with with SanDiegoAli though that sometimes these things do happen. With all the help you were trying to give them and they still can’t make it, I think it would make the situation worse trying to make them come or trying to pay for everything for them to come. If you can get the best man out and help him out that might be a good compromise but then again, the rest of his family might not be happy with that situation since the kids were also supposed to be in the wedding. I guess throw some ideas out there to them but you might have to look for a backup plan for your wedding party… 🙁

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Do they already have the kids clothes purchased?  Perhaps you cn tell them to go to something like Burlington Coat Factory, and pick out whatever they can afford that’s (insert color here).  And sometimes at the tux places ring bearers can get their tuxes for free.

IDK if that helps.

Post # 10
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

Do you have enough room in your house to let them stay there?  That way all they really have to pay for is gas and it’s only about 1 tank of gas each way which they should have no problem saving for in the next three months.

Post # 12
Member
210 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Although it won’t solve the problem of them not being able to be in the wedding party, this might at least let them experience the wedding live…does the facility have wifi?  If so you could have skype or some other thing running on a laptop with webcam and put it somewhere that it won’t stand out. 

Post # 13
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

2 people in our wedding party have dropped out. It’s frustrating when you see how they spend their money (If they saved for a couple of months rather than spending $80 at a restaurant and $150 for a concert, they could go!)… But there’s really not much you can do. We’re stressing the lower-cost options (found a hotel that is $20/night!), etc… but after that, I think you just have to let it go.

Post # 15
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

I know for a fact that not all of my friends will be able to come to our wedding. With me living in Canada (for now, moving to the States later on this year.. hopefully >.<) and my FI living in Pennsylvania, I know that not everyone will show up. Doesn’t matter which side of the border we have the ceremony on. If your family knew in advance that they had a wedding to save up for, there shouldn’t have been a problem :S. I wish you and your hubby the best of luck, and mucho happiness on your special day!!! >.<

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