Guests don't want me to invite this one person…

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@elliptical2013:  if everyone gets a +1, she gets a +1 as well, and can bring whomever she wants. it would be different if he had assaulted someone else in the group or had proven himself a physical threat/criminal/thief even, but you can’t not allow your close friend to bring her date of choice if everyone else gets a +1.

Post # 5
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

if your wedding isn’t until next June you don’t need to worry about the seating arrangements yet.  Heck, by then, he may (hopefully) be a distant memory.

Post # 7
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Put him at the end beside the oldest deafest person coming.

 

Post # 9
Member
405 posts
Helper bee

@elliptical2013:  I feel like you are talking about my ex husband!!! He was JUST like that!!  Whenever we went to weddings, we were always seated with people who didn’t speak English, or with people we didn’t know.   If your friend is still with him in June, then seat them at the end.  There’s nothing that can be done, and eventually, hopefully, your friend will get the hint that no one likes him (and for good reason).

Post # 10
Member
1373 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@elliptical2013:  There ya go!! They’ll just stare at him and wonder why he talks so much 😉

Post # 11
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If your friend has decided to be in a relationship with this guy it is not up to you or your other friends to decide he can’t come along with her.  He sounds like a real peach, but nothing you can really do.  

You still have a long time before you have to worry about it, and it kind of sucks for your friend that she might get seated away from other people she knows because of her chosen partner but if it will help keep the peace just do it.  Sitting him next to people that don’t speak english may actually be the best place for him, and from past behaviour he might just go sit in the car anyway…

Post # 12
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

@elliptical2013:  Honestly?  If she continues to date a guy that everyone hates (and she is certainly free to do that) she is going to have to come to grips with the fact that no one wants to be by him.  If he were truly that disruptive to my very close friends and would be a killjoy at my reception, they would be sitting at the end of the tables, away from my very close friends.

Sometimes there are consequences to who we bring in to our social circles.  She is going to have to face that if this guy continues to be such a weenie.  Would all of your friends stay and enjoy the evening if they had to endure this guy?  Hopefully yes, but it is something to think about.

You know, you and your friends have several months here before your wedding.  If she is invited to fewer things socially because no one wants to deal with him, maybe she will reevaluate the situation and decide if her life is better with or without him.

I know that sounds harsh, but I don’t ruin social gatherings by dealing with people who make everyone else’s good time bad.  If I had a really close friend who was dating a weenie, and we talked to her about how he acts with everyone and how it impacts the event, she would have to deal with the consequences.  This just happens to be one area in life where I have pretty hard boundaries.  I’ve only walked away from one friendship (over incredibly misbehaved kids and parents who refused to parent), but I was happier in the end for it, and so were my guests.

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