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Honestly, I think if I were a guest and seated away from the rest of the party, I would feel a bit left out. Or like I were the crappy guest you only invited because you had to. Could you cut your guest list down a bit more to better accomodate the space of your venue?
I agree with @bakerella. FI and I went to a wedding once where we were sat in an area outside the main indoor reception hall (literally OUTSIDE, like under the stars and clouds). We felt kinda shafted and like we weren't "important" guests. :(
I wouldn't do it. I think guests don't like being separated out into different rooms. They'll end up missing the speeches, the cake cutting, the first dance, etc. because they won't know when these things are going on. Hearing muffled music from a different floor is much different than actually being in the room and being a part of the wedding. Have you considered putting 9 or 10 at a table? If you could rent slightly bigger tables (which are not usually too expensive) you could probably do it. There looks like there's a lot of space between the tables there. Plus I don't know if you're doing a buffet or a plated dinner, but if you don't do a buffet you will save that much more space.
Or, if you're worried about extra people showing up, just make your RSVPs really clear. Use the "We have reserved ____ seats in your honor" wording, and if people RSVP for extra guests, call them and tell them that it won't be possible to accommodate them. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to keep your guest list at whatever you decide it should be.
How many guests did you invite?
Honestly, I'd feel very put out if I were invited to a wedding and was placed in a different room. It would be one thing if it was an extension of the same room, but a completely different one, not even on the same floor? It would make me upset and I'd feel like Bakerella said, left out and an obligation invite.
If you switched to long tables or did served food instead of buffet, that might help fit a few more guests in.
Good luck!
Personally, if I were seated away from everyone else, I would be kind of upset. They are there to share this day with you & then they can't even enjoy being in the same room with you. I agree with bakerella, maybe adjust your guest list a little. This is just my opinion. It is your day & you should do what makes you happy!
Could you not fit 10 instead of 8 people at the round tables? Most of those standard round tables can fit 10 people. It's more of a squeeze, but better than offending anyone.
My friend's wedding was in a very cool barn with a similiarly awkward set-up. The wedding party sat in a balcony area above everyone else. On the main floor, tables were placed by the main dance floor and back in a few rooms off the main dance floor. There was a downstairs too, where the bar and other tables for guests were placed.
Honestly, it was a little awkward. I was put in one of the side rooms off the main floor and it was somewhat difficult for me to see the special dances and to socialize. However, to me, the reception is most memorable for the dancing and the drinking. And, once we ate, everyone got up, mingled and had an awesome time. It didn't make or break the wedding, and I feel like even the people seated downstairs had a fun time.
Don't stress out about it. Just make it work and make sure you acknowledge and greet all guests.
Well the tables are included with the venue and our budget is not that big so they're staying. The buffet will be on the first level. The guest list now is like 99 people and I'm sure not everyone will come but with our family, there's a chance that they could. On the RSVPs I put ___ of ____ guests.... which is not good etiquette but I wanted to ensure that noone could add anyone extra. I thought about assigning the younger kids (teens) to the lower level. I'm not sure anyone would HAVE to be seated in the atrium but i'm just trying to thinking of a back up plan.
Oh and @ greenleafmountain- the hall looks like a good size in that picture but a lot of people in my family are on the heavier side and I don't want anyone sittin thigh to thigh if you know what I mean lol.
I kind of had this same problem. I found my DREAM venue, an old mansion that is restored and exactly what I envisioned. Only problem was, the reception room was actually two adjoining rooms that were supposed to look like one big room but definitley didn't feel like it. I didn't like that if you were seated in a certain area, you couldn't see the dance floor, head table, etc. I ultimately decided not to use that venue. At times I still regret it but I think I'd regret it more if I crammed people into an uncomfortable space and/or made them feel like a B-list guest. That being said...
I don't know if it's a good idea for you to seat guests outside the main area. How do you decide who gets the "cheap seats?" I know it's a tough call, but you want your guests to be happy. Sorry if that's not the answer you were looking for!
Potential solution: Set up all the tables in the whole room, and move the additional tables off the dance floor when it's time to start dancing. I've seen this done at weddings before and it wasn't a big deal. It gives the older guests a few minutes to duck out without feeling bad about it ;)
The wedding I went to that used the multiple rooms did make adjustments so everyone would be able to be in the same place for dances/toast/etc. It was all done before dinner, the bride & groom walked in, did their dances, toasts were done (actually, they were shots of liquor or ginger ale), and then people were invited to the buffet dinner.
So, all the formalities were taken care of before the guests sat down to dinner. That way they did it when everyone was still together and mingling. Speakers were in all the rooms, so the people who weren't in the room could hear what was going on & could be present if they wanted to be.
They mainly put family & very close friends on the main floor and younger friends, co-workers & the such on the bottom floor. The people on the bottom floor were closer to the bar, so I guess that was a perk!
@ LadyGoodman - The formalities being first is a good idea. And there are speakers on both floors so everyone can hear. I was also thinking of just putting the younger kids on the bottom floor if necessary. The food will be down there and I don't think they would want to be around the stifling older folks anyway. My fiance also thinks it won't be a big deal to take down a table when it's time to dance. Thanks for the advice, ladies.
If it is a buffet without assigned seating, I think it will be fine. I went to a wedding like that and no one sat down for very long anyways. Also, that way guests choose their seat so they aren't feeling like they were assigned to a bad table. With a buffet people are more likely to be moving around and mingling more anyways. So I say yes, but do not assign seats (except for the bridal party and immediate family members).
haha, I hear you about not wanting to overcrowd the tables ;) If your guest list is only 99 I really think you will be fine. But I would definitely do assigned tables. Otherwise you end up with an open seat here and there, and you really don't have any to spare.
I never stay at my table after dinner anyhow, so this would not bother me. I am always up mingling and dancing.
So assigned seating or no assigned seating...maybe i'll take a poll
Can you set up the table settings so that the group in the outer room either will feel that you designed it so it fits them... for example... have the older crowd sit there with softer music designed to make talking more enjoyable... or choosing the younger set who will move about easily... and set up a table in each room the bride and groom... you could eat different courses in different rooms... After glancing though the list, I noticed someone mentioned a wedding in a mansion or Victorian home. I was at a smaller wedding like that and we mingled between the rooms and danced in a hallway!
I think you should put the extra tables on the dance floor and then move them out after dinner is over.
I agree with Bakerella. Make sure everyone can fit in one room, and do assigned seating too.
I agree about the tables and dancefloor. I would not ever recommend putting people on another floor, away from the reception. (A mansion, in which everyone is in a different room or nook of the house is different.)
Also, if it's a matter of all the teens fitting in these extra tables, you could just make a cut off of no one under 18.
@Tanya 123- As much as we would love to cut down the guest list we're only 22 and 23 so we're close to a lot of family members who are in their late teens. The best man is only 17. We said no 2nd cousins and no first cousins under 16 (more for fiance's sake than mine). Hopefully when people begin RSVPing everything will come together.
I guess I'm not exactly seeing the problem...you have invited 99 people? And you have room for 108? Sounds like you'll have plenty of room, as not everyone will RSVP yes. My advice is to have assigned seating, and anyone who just shows up without having RSVPd first can sit at the unassigned seating out in the atrium. Do you expect a lot of crashers? I would just label your table "Crashers" and let them eat downstairs...I know in some families (like my DH's) it's very common for random family to just show up at a wedding so having extra seating is a good idea, but I wouldn't go out of my way to accomodate those people...
@Mighty Sapphire - Naming the table CRASHERS would be hilarious. Yep, my family is just your DH's. I am pretty positive that most of them won't even bother to RSVP. A lot of people in my family would probably be more excited about free food and alcohol than my FI and I. Sad, I know.
In my experience, not assigning seating is not a good idea. You don't want anyone to have to have an awkward moment. Make it as easy on your guests as possible. Make them feel cared-for.
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Hello Bees...I apologize for the length of this post...
I love my venue. It's a restored barn with a historic house next door. It's modern but has a rustic feel. There are two levels, one is the main hall where the reception will be and the lower level has three classrooms, an atrium, the technology room and bathrooms. The problem is that the main hall only holds 108 people banquet style. My FI and I want a dance floor so we arranged the room to have a long head table for the bridal party, the dance floor and about 12 round tables which seat 8 people. Sounds okay right? Well I'm worried about extra people showing up.
I can place about 4 or 5 tables in the atrium area which is really pretty but just downstairs. It's not far...the guests can still hear music. My question is...is this tacky? My cocktail hour will be in the atrium and I don't want anyone to wonder why theres tables but not enough for everyone. If I do have tables in the atrium should I assign people to these or just allow people to sit whereever they want. I hope this makes sense but I'm so confused right now....
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